Page 193 of Modern Romance May 2026 Books 1-4
“You care about him. That comment hurt your feelings.”
“I don’t like to be reminded about… I don’t even know anything about them.”
“Well, that’s understandable. But he’s not… You don’t think he’s actually dangerous.”
“He didn’t kill his wives. I know that much.” He may not have told me everything yet, but I do know he’s not capable of true cruelty. I don’t need him to tell me in order to know.
Isabel nods. “You seem like a very smart woman. I’m sure you know who you’re married to.”
I’m not sure about that. And I chew on that for the rest of the evening. But I don’t turn Lucian away when he turns to me in bed.
I’m also relieved when it’s time for us to go to England. I exchanged numbers with Isabel the night of the dinner, and she texts me before our plane lands, telling me that my tour is arranged.
“Lucian,” I say, as we descend into London. “Isabel Swift has arranged for me to take a tour of the research facilities at Oxford. I can come anytime this week.”
He looks up from his book. “If you wish.”
“I do wish. Please. I know that… I know that I will never go to school. I understand that. But it’s my dream to even be able to see a place like this.”
“You enjoyed talking to her.”
“Yes. She’s a premier researcher in the field of infectious disease.”
“I know that,” he says. “I confess I just didn’t realize how exciting that might be for you.”
“Science captured my attention from the time I was a child. It contains truth, which I find comforting. But there’s also so much left to be discovered. Both of those things together make it seem like magic. I want to be part of it. I want to be in the middle of it. Making magic. The kind that can give people answers, and save lives.”
“I doubt I’ve ever been half so passionate about anything as you are about this,” he says, his expression filled with wonder.
“Oh well… I know passion isn’t especially mysterious or cool but I…”
“I’ve never cared about that either. It’s only that my ability to love much of anything was taken from me a long time ago.”
“I know,” I say. A reminder to me that he isn’t really my enemy. My feelings were hurt, and I let myself get wounded. There’s no need to be like that; he hasn’t done anything to me.
“Do you think that you might be able to do some of the sightseeing with me?”
“I will be busy doing negotiations. But I will at least try to do the Oxford tour with you.”
“I would like that,” I say.
That’s when I decide that I’m going to arrange something nice for him as well.
The morning of the tour we take a private train car from London and even though it feels strange with all our security detail, that’s when I spring my surprise on him. Our walking tour of the favorite haunts of C. S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien.
He looks at me as if he’s been hit in the head. “When did you plan this?”
“When we got here. I mean, to England. I did a little bit of research, and I colluded with the security guards to arrange for our travel to give us time.”
“I like it,” he says. “Very much. I can’t remember the last time anyone ever gave me a gift. Particularly not one so thoughtful.”
My eyes fill with tears. I examine his face, my dragon. I don’t even really see the scars anymore. Or rather, I don’t see them as separate from him. There isn’t a perfect side of his face, and a ruined one. There is only Lucian.
We walk along a placid green, the smooth pond full of ducks creating a pastoral scene, particularly with the glory of Oxford in the distance. It’s easy to imagine being a literary sort, wandering and letting ideas swirl around in my head. Though, I’ve never considered myself creative. I wonder if Lucian does. He loves books. I wonder if he would’ve tried to write one if his life were different.
I wonder who he might’ve been.
Seeing him like this makes me ache. I wish I could know this man. But then I wouldn’t have the one I know already. Both possibilities make me so terribly sad. All of my feelings for him are just too big.
