Page 106 of Call You Mine
Just like something Ava would do.
“I’ve been having nightmares,” she admits, whispering into the silence of the house, the darkness of the middle of the night.
I nod, gesturing to the couch for us to sit. “Do you want to tell me about them?”
Georgie lets out a sigh and sinks down into the cushions.
Moments like this remind me just how much of a kid she is, even when she’s pretending that she isn’t.
“They started the night before you and Ava left for Las Vegas.” She brings her knees up to her chest. Her eyes water again as I wait for her to say more, giving her the room to tell me more, or for me to just be here with her, reminding her she’s not alone.
We left for Vegas four days ago—and she’s been dealing with this alone since?
After a moment, she explains, “I keep dreaming I’m standing in the middle of the road at night, and there are these headlights coming toward me, but I can’t move no matter how hard I try. And then, right before the car hits me, I hear my dad’s voice calling my name from somewhere behind me, like he’s trying to warn me, but when I turn around, he’s not there.” She shakes her head, as if wanting to rid herself of the thoughts. I reach for her hand, which is resting on her knee, and give it a squeeze.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, wishing I knew the right thing to say. “It’s just a bad dream. You’re safe.”
“But when I turn back toward the car, I see it’s my mom in the driver’s seat,” she says, her voice cracking as tears begin falling down her cheeks.
I wrap an arm around her shoulder, holding her against me. “I’m so sorry, G.” I feel my own eyes water, wishing I could take these feelings from her and claim them as my own—taking them on so she doesn’t have to.
“Tonight, I thought staying awake as long as possible would help. And then, I set an alarm to wake myself up to try and stop the nightmare from coming.”
“G,” I start, the ache in my chest deepening to a point I didn’t know was possible. “You need to sleep.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the same alarm I used for waking myself up to make sure my mom was in bed and dump out all the alcohol bottles I could find.”
It’s like the ground beneath me gives out, something inside of me collapsing in on itself, an intense anger making it hard to see straight. “I know it might not feel like it, but you’re a kid. You deserve to feel like one, tobeone. And, Georgie, that means being able to sleep at night, at the veryminimum.”
“I’d rather be tired than scared,” Georgie whispers, and I wish I could make her understand that she deserves so much more than just feeling safe in her home. Safe enough to get some decent sleep and not be afraid of whatever her mind will conjure up, using her trauma to remind her of all the ways the universe has been so unfair to her.
“Yeah. But staying awake all night?” I offer as her head falls against my shoulder. “It doesn’t fix anything, especially doing it alone.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” she admits quietly.
“You’re not. Not right now. Not ever again,” I promise, my head resting on hers. “You can let yourself sleep. I’ll be right here.”
CHAPTER 37
AVA
It’s beena week since I took that first pregnancy test.
I’ve taken thirty-four tests, ranging from the bulk test strips to the fancy digital ones, since then.
Seventeen wasn’t enough, and I still don’t know if seventeentwiceis enough.
But they’re all positive.
I don’t know how many more I’ll have to take before I am entirely convinced, but I refuse to buy another test.
I’m supposed to be meeting Anderson at Georgie’s first soccer game of the spring season in an hour, but I don’t know how I’m going to face him—Rumi and Emerson too.
Everyone is coming out to cheer Georgie on, and this secret feels like hundreds of pounds pressing down on my chest, making it hard to focus on anything else.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep it to myself—but the longer I do, the more I go back and forth about what I want to do.
I want to get all of it out of my head so I can figure out what I want to do.
