Page 36 of In Every Lifetime
Sarah
Iwas frustrated that Fai didn’t believe me that there was something off with Gabriel, but I didn’t fault him. In fact, I was proud. This was the first time he had chosen to see anything but the worst in someone. The timing was unfortunate. He was also right, it wasn’t like me to snoop and read through someone’s diary. I couldn’t even explain why I had done it.
Being around Fai in such close proximity, was messing with my head. Everything in me wanted to be with him… everything but my mind. My mind, my memories were the only things keeping me sane. I had to remember why things ended between us in the first place, it was the only way to protect my heart.
I peeled my eyes open, the morning light only now peeking through the closed, linen curtains. After my conversation with Fai yesterday, I had kept my distance from both him and Gabriel. I didn’t make it obvious, instead excusing myself inside when they were grilling on the porch, or choosing to read in my room instead of staying up to watch a movie. If either did question my avoidance, I would explain it was to give them timeto bond. It was part of the reason. No one needed to know I was avoiding Fai.
But night came, and there was nowhere to hide from him. I had gone to bed earlier and took the coward’s route, pretending to be asleep when Fai finally came to bed. I listened to him change, listened to him tiptoe around the room to keep from waking me. I heard him crawl under the covers. I even heard the way he whispered my name. Quiet but filled with earnest… yearning even. I didn’t know if he was checking to see if I was asleep or not, or if he needed to talk. He didn’t elaborate either, simply laying his head on the pillow and going to sleep himself.
We were lucky that the mattress was comfortable, both of us knocking out during the night. When my eyes finally adjusted to the morning light, I saw that we hadn’t exactly respected one another’s side of the bed. Well, Fai had. I was curled into his side, my arm and leg thrown over him.
I held my breath, worried he would wake up and assume the worst. I peeled my arm away slowly, followed by my leg. He shifted slightly and I froze. His eyes fluttered as he teetered between reality and his dreams, and by the grace of some god, he stayed asleep.
I said a silent thank you and continued to untangle myself from him, finally standing free. I paused, steadying my racing heart, and looked down at Fai. His face was peaceful, as though he had no worry at all. His brown hair was mussed, as always, but in that way that made me want to run my fingers through it. The blanket sat low on his hips, exposing that beautiful torso of his. His caramel skin glowed in the dim morning light. When he had pulled his shirt off yesterday, I had done my best not to drop my jaw, but damn did I want to.
Fai had been in great shape during our relationship, having a metabolism that was blessed by the gods or some shit, but now… now it was obvious he had made changes in his life. Hewasn’t ripped like the athletes, but he looked strong and lean. He looked healthy. If I had the ability to simply compliment him yesterday, I would have, but I was busy contemplating if he would let me lick him, and that would have been an interesting conversation. Keeping my mouth shut was my best option.
I shook my head, ridding it of thoughts of Fai’s naked chest, and pulled off my bonnet and threw on a sweatshirt, ready to start my morning hunt for coffee. When I was a teenager, I could have stayed up all night and been able to function throughout the next day with no issue. In my twenties, I had my fair share of late nights out. Yet the next morning I was up and ready for work. Now, as I have passed thirty, coffee was an essential step in my morning routine.
I padded across the room, the cool floors seeping through my socks as I opened the door and closed it softly behind me, leaving Fai to his dreams. He had never been a morning person, preferring the late nights and later mornings.
While I missed being in a city, there was a beauty to Montana mornings. The sun shining off the top of the mountains, the sky alight with yellows and golds. The cabin, with its many windows, showed off the property well, highlighting the mountain and forest views around us.
I yawned wide, rocking back on my heels, basking in the morning light as I stood in front of the wall of windows in the main room.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
I let out a shriek and turned to the source of the voice. Gabriel stood at the foot of the steps, dressed in his own pajamas and sweatshirt, much like me. Well, he had actual pants on. My legs were freezing in my shorts.
My hand flew to my racing heart as I tried to convince my fight or flight response to calm. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “I’m so sorry, I thought you heard me come down.”
I waved him off, collapsing onto the couch and pulling my legs under me. “I was distracted by these views. They’re rather incredible.”
He glanced out the windows, nodding in agreement, then looked back to me. “There really isn’t anything quite as beautiful.”
I hummed in response, not sure what to say. I couldn’t get my suspicions out of my thoughts. Each time he trained his eyes on me or gave me that easy smile of his, I couldn’t help but wonder how he found Fai. Was it truly by a private investigator, or was it him? And if so, why did he lie?
He moved into the kitchen, his steps nearly silent. "Can I get you a coffee? I'll put a fresh pot on."
“That would be great, thank you.” Even if I didn’t trust the guy, I would accept a morning coffee from the devil himself.
I listened to him move around in the kitchen, filling the coffee machine and pulling mugs out of the cabinet. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered over my shoulder. “Can I turn this fireplace on? It’s cold in here.”
“Of course! There’s a switch on the side, it’s a gas system.”
I stood, grateful I wouldn’t have to finagle with building an actual fire myself. I was a city girl, and it was far too late in my life to change that now. I preferred my coffee with fancy milk, my fires able to start with the flip of a switch, and the ability to see my neighbors.
The fire came to life with a soft whoosh, the warmth spreading almost immediately. I settled back onto the couch just as Gabriel came in with two mugs, taking the armchair beside me.
I sipped the heavenly drink, letting it warm me from the inside out. “Thank you.”
It was made perfectly, with the exact ratios of milk and sweetener that I would have chosen for myself.
“Of course,” he spoke softly, sipping his own drink. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “Is everything okay with you and Fai? I thought I heard you arguing yesterday.”
