Page 34 of In Every Lifetime
I took a steadying breath, but nodded in agreement and motioned for her to continue.
“Thank you,” she sighed, sitting higher now that she had a chance to explain. “I thought I found the private investigator’s report and I really was just reading through it out of curiosity—the thing is, neither Will nor I believe Gabriel actually hired a private investigator. I think he found you himself and then lied about the PI.”
She looked at me expectantly, as if she had dropped a bomb of new information—not just a theory based on her quick reading of random documents and, apparently, Gabriel’s diary.
“I’m just going to move on from you reading Gabriel’s diary to Will. Did it explicitly state somewhere that he hadn’t hired a private investigator?”
She shook her head. “Well, no. But—”
“Did it say anywhere that he’s lied to us at any point? Or prove that he’s lied to us?” I interrupted.
Her shoulders slumped, defeated. “No, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t.”
“True,” I agreed. “But it doesn’t mean he did.”
“Fai, I really think something’s off with him,” Sarah argued.
“Hmm… well, let’s think about it?” I said, my tone sarcastic. “Maybe it’s his brother and his brother’s snooping ex-wife visiting him for the first time after thirty years of only hearing stories about said brother? I know that would throw me off… wait?” My face dropped, my tone growing serious. “It did. This situation we’re in is insane, Sarah. Of course he’s going to be a little off. I bet he’s having just as hard a time processing this as I am.”
She looked at her hands, playing with her fingers, her voice growing quiet. “Why can’t you trust me on this?”
I took a deep breath and leaned forward, taking her hands in my own, urging her to look at me. Her chocolate brown eyes met mine. “I do trust you. I believe you can sense when something’s off with him. Honestly, I trust your intuition about people more than my own. You’re quite literally trained to notice unusual behavior. But I’m living through this situation too. There could be reasons for him acting strangely, being flustered, or even cagey—his world is upside down, just like mine. I trust you, Sarah, I really do. But out of everyone in this house, you’re the one acting the strangest.”
She pulled her hands back slowly and leaned away, putting distance between us. "I don't trust him."
“Maybe not yet, but we’ve been here for a day. We barely know him, why don’t you give him a chance?” I reasoned.
She searched my eyes. For what? I wasn’t sure, but I don’t think she found it. She embodied defeat, her shoulders slumped, her expression downcast. “Do you trust him more than me?”
“No,” I said without hesitation. “I don’t trust him at all. But that’s also my little brother. My little brother, who like me, is completely alone in this world. No one… and I mean no one understands what that feels like more than me. So no, I don’t trust him, but I’m willing to give him a chance. Why aren’t you?”
“Because something is suspicious. Sometimes it feels like he’s acting, not being genuine. Always plastering on a smile, even when he shouldn’t. Normal people don’t behave like that, Fai,” she argued, her voice rising.
I motioned for her to keep her voice down, pointing up to where his room was, where I could hear water running.
“Can’t you just give him a chance?” I pleaded. “I’m glad you’re here, truly. But I don’t need you to try and pick out everythingwrong with him. I need you to support me, Sarah. Can you just do that? Be my friend instead of a psychologist?”
I could see her struggling… really struggling to agree, but after a moment of tense silence she nodded her head and spoke softly. “Okay. I can do that. But you have to be okay with me… analyzing Gabriel. I won’t share anything with you, but I really feel like something’s off and I would like to know why.”
I licked my lips as I thought it over. It was a fair request. She would support me externally, but internally do what she needed to in order to feel comfortable. It was a fair compromise. “I can be okay with that.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was one of those smiles she used to give me after an argument. It was her way of telling me it would be okay, even if it wasn’t just yet. “I am sorry I went through his things. It really wasn’t intentional.”
“I know,” I explained. “And I’m sorry for getting defensive. Can you understand why I did, at least?” I asked with a smirk and raised brows. “You did read someone’s journal.”
She closed her eyes softly and smiled before looking back at me. “You have me there. It wasn’t okay, but who leaves their journal out on the top of their desk? That feels like user error to me.”
I laughed, standing up slowly, my muscles fatigued from the day. “Well I’m going to take a shower and nap like it’s no one’s business.” I reached behind me, pulling off my shirt and throwing it in my suitcase with the rest of my dirty clothes.
I looked back to Sarah, who was staring at me, her mouth slightly open, and I could have sworn she was blushing.
“What?” I asked, looking down at my chest, wondering if I had a smear of dirt on me or something.
She shook her head quickly, as if she were shaking off a thought. “Sorry, it’s nothing. Take your shower.”
I let it go and wandered out toward the bathroom.
I jumped at footsteps down the hall. I turned to see Gabriel who was standing near the bookshelf by the phone, still in his hiking clothes, eyes moving between the two as though he were trying to work something out. I had assumed he was in the shower. I was certain I had heard it running earlier.
