Page 28 of In Every Lifetime
I stopped and turned. He had fallen behind on the trail, hands braced on his knees, chest heaving, cheeks flushed from the climb. I pulled a water bottle from my bag and tossed it over.
He caught it, twisted off the cap, and took a hearty chug of the water.
“I just assumed that since she was Colombian, she would have either learned Spanish from her parents or English as she was born in Chicago, and since she had me there, I assumed she was raised there too,” I explained. “They were just theories. Basically, all I know about her is where she was when I was born, her ethnicity, and her age. Birth certificates don’t have a ton of information. I drew the conclusions I could with what little information I had.”
Gabriel’s breathing evened out slowly, and he tossed the bottle back to me. “I can’t speak on her parents, our grandparents. They didn’t have a relationship with us. They would probably have the answer to why she spoke Portuguese. I never knew them.”
“Wow, really?” I asked.
He nodded. “I think there was a lot of pressure from both her parents and your dad’s parents to give you up for adoption. I think she resented them and cut them off once she was able to.”
“Wow…” I trailed off, looking at the trees around us, trying to wrap my mind around my mom and her life.
He smiled empathetically. “We can talk about something else if you want, if that’s easier.”
“Thank you, that would be great, actually. It’s… well, it’s a lot to take in. I’m getting a lifetime of questions answered unbelievably fast.” I pointed over my shoulder, back to the path. “You good to keep going?”
He nodded, and I turned again, picking my way along the trail.
“Can I ask you some questions? I’d love to know my big brother a little better.” The lilt of his voice was teasing, but I felt sincerity in his wanting to get to know me.
I was someone's older brother. The absurdity of it almost made me laugh. "Sure. What do you want to know?"
“Umm… I guess I’ll get right down to the nitty-gritty. What happened between you and Sarah?” he asked. “When my PI found you, you were married, and that was less than a year ago.”
“Damn, you really are just jumping right in there,” I teased, but proceeded to answer anyway. “To be honest, it was my fault. I’m an alcoholic and relapsed… badly relapsed. I said some things I didn’t mean and pushed her away. She finally got sick of me and filed.”
“Shit, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t know—”
“It’s fine,” I interrupted, not wanting him to feel guilty. I showed up at his house with my ex-wife. It was only right he was curious.
It was quiet for a moment as we hiked, but I could feel him thinking behind me.
“Are you sober now?” he finally asked.
“Yeah, just over seven months now.”
“Congrats, man. That’s huge,” Gabriel spoke softly. I smiled to myself because it was starting to feel like a big accomplishment. “You and Sarah seem to be in a better place now, too.”
“Yeah, we talked through some of our issues on the drive here. I think we’re friends now,” I explained.
He laughed. “You mean to tell me when you got in the car to come here together, you weren’t even friends yet?”
I laughed with him, truly thinking about it for the first time, because it was as ridiculous as it sounded. Her climbing into my truck for an eleven-hour drive was only the second time we had seen each other since the divorce, and she had done it to support me. “I never said the two of us made logical decisions.”
He laughed harder, and I joined in.
“She seems really great,” his tone was bright as he spoke about Sarah. I couldn’t blame him; the full effect she had on people was often incomprehensible to me. I was also her biggest fan, but it seemed Gabriel was gunning for the position. “I don’t know her well, obviously, but from what I do know, she seems exceptional.”
“She is,” I agreed. “She’s the most incredible person I know. That I’ll ever know.”
“Do you still love her?” he asked, his voice tentative. I glanced at him over my shoulder and just shook my head. He accepted the answer without needing my words.
Saying I didn’t love Sarah was a lie I would only say aloud once.
“Tell me about you,” I asked, trying to change the subject to anything but my feelings for Sarah. “All I know is that you live here, work as a fisherman, and no offense… are a shit hiker.”
He laughed, taking the teasing in stride. "You're not wrong. It's my own fault. I haven't kept up with much during the off-season and it's showing. Honestly, there isn't much more to know about me. I'm fairly boring. You're probably the most exciting thing in my life."
