Page 75 of In Every Lifetime
Fai
Sarah was bundled in a blanket, sitting on the supple leather couch, the fireplace blazing as the rain fell in steady sheets outside. I could breathe a little deeper, knowing she was safe—she was out of Gabriel’s reach. There was no way he would find her here. The house didn’t even have an official address, nor a road to it. The only way you knew it existed out here was if the occupants had told you themselves.
Or the occupant's sister, who also happened to be my friend. Jackie didn’t tell me about where he lived to put Nate in danger. Not that I would be dangerous to him. In one of our recent get-togethers, as we worked to reconnect, she talked about having her whole family living close by. While her sister lived a stone’s throw away from her house, Nate lived deeper on the property.
He wasn’t the most sociable, and had few people he let close to him. I had been one of those few people for a short time…
I dropped another bag on the porch, where he stood with his arms crossed in front of him, acting as a guard to the front door—a threshold he wouldn’t let me cross. His blonde hair was tiedinto a bun at the back of his head, and his chest stretched against his hoodie.
“That’s all they would let me grab,” I explained, pointing to the fifth bag of Sarah’s belongings. Will and I grabbed what we could, piling her clothes, books, work materials, and even her favorite knickknacks into bags. I had no plans for her going to the house until Gabriel was behind bars—or six feet under. Either worked for me.
Nate stared at me, his blue eyes cold and assessing.
“Thank you, again.” I looked back at Sarah, who seemed to be fading with each passing second, her eyes growing heavy. The adrenaline was finally waning, leaving her exhausted. “This was the safest place I could think of.”
“Why are you doing this?” Nate asked abruptly.
I raised a brow in question.
“Why are you helping her?”
I was taken aback by the question. Why wouldn’t I help her?
“Because I love her.” It was a simple answer for me.
“Does she know that?” he asked, his stance loosening just a bit.
I nodded. “She does now. Why?”
Nate sighed and dropped to his front steps, taking a seat on the top and stretching his long legs in front of him. “I’m just trying to figure you out. I can’t make sense of you—of your actions. You say you love her, but you divorced her. You say Jackie is like family to you, but you hurt her. You said you wanted to be my friend, but you lied to me.”
“I didn’t technically lie,” I argued.
“Fine… you withheld certain truths from me that would have been extremely helpful to know—such as you knowing my entire family.”
I sighed deeply and motioned toward the step next to him. He hesitated but eventually nodded, and I took a seat beside him.
“What do you remember about our meeting?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Nate answered immediately.
“Hmm…” I mused, pulling my hood over my head. “I had been in rehab for a few days when you got there. I saw your name on the roster and knew it had to be you. Jackie’s brother.”
“Why did you introduce yourself to me?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know. I think I missed what I had with Jackie—with Sarah. I knew at that point we were spiraling toward the end—that I was losing her. I was in the thick of withdrawals and wasn’t making great decisions.”
Nate and I had met years ago when we were both in the same rehab facility. He was there to work through his dependency on drugs. I had admitted myself after the most severe relapse I’d ever experienced. I hadn’t known Nate before he was there, just his name… and I knew he was in their lives. He had Jackie; he had Sarah. He had the people I loved—the people I had pushed away. The people I had missed more than anything else.
“I think I was curious,” I finally decided.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth eventually? We were there together for months, man,” Nate asked, sounding genuinely hurt.
I let out a humorless laugh. “The minute you knew the truth, you would write me off. I wanted to delay it.”
“Wanted to keep using me?”
I looked at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
