Page 63 of Not So Fast
“Let’s not talk about me anymore,” Xander said. “Let’s talk about anything else. Please.”
Xander did a lot of listening as his parents asked Mia dozens of questions and she dutifully answered them over dinner, two bottles of wine and a sticky toffee pudding Xander would need to work off before Silverstone but was still worth every bite. Over the course of the conversation, he learned more about Mia’s various careers, but by and large, it was mostly things she’d already told him. He wasn’t there for the details, he was there to soak up the warm rapport between Mia and his family, especially between her and his mum. That was no small thing. He loved his family to the ends of the earth, but they could be loud and unfiltered. He’d had several girlfriends who found his family unpalatable. But not Mia. She seemed right at home.
“Thank you for tonight,” Xander said as they rode back to his house in the Jeep.
He glanced at Mia, seeing her only in profile as she looked straight ahead. Her lovely dark hair framed her face so perfectly in the soft light of evening. She was a vision he might never get out of his head.
“I’m the one who should be thanking you. It was amazing. So much fun.” She turned to him as he pulled into the garage and killed the engine. “Do you remember that nightin the park in Monza when I asked how you deal with the pressure of F1?”
“I think I told you I just deal with it. I don’t have a choice.” He climbed out of the car, as did Mia. “It’s part of the sport. It will always be there.”
Mia was at his side as they walked into the house. “I think the real pressure comes from your family. And I don’t say that as a bad thing. It’s sweet. Not all pressure is bad. Pressure can be good. It pushes us to do better. And this is the best kind. It’s from not wanting to disappoint the ones you love most.”
He came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, needing a moment to wrap his head around what she’d just said.
Of course he’d spent many sleepless nights worrying about letting down his family. He didn’t want their sacrifices to have been for nothing. But he’d never thought of it as pressure, even though he’d felt it. Internalized it. Kept it close to his heart. Having Mia see it, give it a name and acknowledge it, created a monumental shift inside him. It was like having a weight lifted. Or seeing the sun come up for the first time.
“Mia, that is quite a remarkable thing you just said to me.”
“Just spitballing.”
She started up the stairs, but she stopped and turned back when he reached for her hand. Funny, but with her two steps higher, he could finally look her directly in the eye. The only problem was the distance between them.
“How do you see so much in other people, and you don’t see yourself?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You dismiss your achievements. You play off the nice things people say about you and your work. You did that with Freya tonight. Even yesterday when I tried to congratulate youabout your interview with Claudia, you focused on the bad things people were saying.” He took one step up and reached for her hair, the back of his hand brushing her temple. “I just want you to be as generous with yourself as you are with everyone else.”
“Aren’t we all nicer to other people than we are to ourselves?”
“Probably. But I think you take it to a new level.”
She nodded slowly. “You know, no one has ever referred to what I do as my work. You take it seriously, don’t you?”
“I’ve seen how hard you work, Mia. And I do take it seriously. You make people happy. And I will always love what you do because it brought you to me.”
She sighed with a sweet smile on her face. “That’s the real bonus, isn’t it?”
“You’re the real bonus. You are the kindest and most insightful person I have ever met. And you’ve made my life better. You’ve helped me get out of my own head and enjoy life. That’s why I’ve thought of every reason under the sun to keep you from getting on a plane and flying home.”
Mia dropped down a step and leaned into him. “You’re practically keeping me captive.”
He cupped the side of her head, dragging his hand down until he could slip his thumb under her chin. He wanted her in a way he couldn’t describe. He only knew that the need resided in every atom of his being, right alongside his desire to win.
“I only do that selfishly.”
“It’s okay to be selfish.”
“Good. I want to be selfish with you right now.”
He claimed her lips with an open mouth, and she practically melted into him, bowing her back and pressing her breastsagainst his chest. Everything in his body went tight and hot as she unbuttoned his shirt, spread her hands across his bare chest and caressed his skin, flicking at his nipples with her fingertips. Despite the tension in his body, the way his cock expressed urgency with a rush of heat, he wanted to take his time with her. Perhaps that unexpected sliver of patience came from knowing what he wanted—Mia—and knowing she was in this house and they had all night.
She pushed his shirt from his shoulders and he reached for the hem of her top, lifting it over her head and casting it aside on the stairs. He pulled down her bra straps and his fingers scrambled for the back clasp, then he had her breasts in his hands, cupping them while he felt her velvety skin against his palms. He flicked his tongue against her nipples… There was no way to describe the way he felt when she made that noise.
He wrapped one arm around her torso and used the other to sweep under her legs and picked her up exactly as he had the first day she’d been there. That time had been out of expediency, but this time he hoped to tell her something that wasn’t easy to say with words.
She’d shifted his thinking away from his faults. She’d made a massive impact on his life—she was his friend, but she had become his partner, too. In all things—joy and work and family and even laundry. The effect Mia had on him was starting to feel seismic.
