Page 40 of Jagger
I stepped forward, but Brad and Drew blocked my path, so I had to try to speak around them. “Angel, I’m so sor – “
“Don’t you dare call me that,” she hissed, “Not after the way you acted. How did you even get in the building?” Her eyes darted to Brad, and then to Drew, and she reared back, shaking her head in disbelief.
“You let him in?” There was a lot of hurt laced with surprise in her tone, and they clearly heard it too, since they both winced at her words.
“I did,” Brad admitted, reaching out to grab her arm when she stepped back into her apartment and tried to shut her door. “Just listen for a second, OK?” She stared at him for a moment, and I held my breath until she reluctantly nodded. “We ran into him out front. He was coming back to apologize.”
Her eyes flew to me, and I nodded, hoping like hell she could see the regret on my face. We were still standing at the top of her stairs, and I knew even though we were keeping our voices down the neighbors must be getting a hell of a show. “Please, Molly. I know I fucked up and I’m so sorry. Please let me come in so we can talk, so I can try to explain why I...reacted the way I did.” I said, frantically trying to find the words I needed to get me through her door.
Several long, heart-stopping moments passed before she dropped her gaze from mine and took a step back, gesturing for me to come in. Brad and Drew both hesitated before stepping aside for me to pass between them.
“Molly, do you want us to stay? I told him I’d throw his ass out if you wanted me to, and I meant it.” Brad glared at me as he told her that last part. Molly glanced at him and gave him a sad smile, then shook her head no. I took a deep breath as relief flooded through me that she was at least going to hear me out. I stood just inside the doorway as he stepped closer to her and gave her a hug, then kissed her cheek, and said something too softly for me to hear. She smiled and nodded, then hugged him again before doing the same to Drew.
Brad gave me one last hard look before turning to go, but Drew surprised me by taking a step closer to me, drawing back his arm, and letting loose with a fist to my gut. I heard Molly’s shocked gasp, and I almost doubled over with a quiet ‘oof’ as the air left my body – for a smaller guy, he packed one hell of a punch.
“That’s for making her cry, asshole! Don’t do it again,” he snarled at me, pointing his finger right in my face. He calmly turned back to Molly like he hadn’t just sucker-punched me, kissed her cheek, and told her to call them if she needed anything. Then the little fucker took Brad’s hand and led him to the stairs. Brad’s mouth was still hanging open when they hit the first step, and Molly snorted a laugh as we heard him say“Holy shit, babe, that was so hot,”in an awed voice.
Her smile faded as she glanced at me, then looked away and slowly closed the apartment door. She turned to face me and fixed her stare somewhere over my left shoulder before speaking.
“I think you made yourself pretty clear earlier. I’m not interested in one last fuck, so what are you doing here?” she asked tonelessly.
I flinched as she threw my hateful words back at me and I closed my eyes as the enormity of my mistake hit me. How could I have been so goddamned stupid?
“Angel, can we…” I stopped as she stiffened up and shot a glare at me. I took a deep breath and started over. “Sorry. Molly, can we sit down? I want to tell you how sorry I am, to try to explain what the hell I was thinking.”
She shrugged and walked over to the oversized armchair in her living room, gesturing for me to sit on the couch. It didn’t escape my notice that she was trying to keep physical distance between us, and I fucking hated the idea that she might be afraid of me after I lost my shit earlier.
“Are you…” My throat was so tight I had had to stop and clear it before continuing, “are you afraid of me? Is that why you’re sitting over there?”
She looked startled by my question, and quickly shook her head no. “I’m not afraid of you, but I don’t want to be near you right now.”
I winced at that, but at least she knew I wasn’t going to physically hurt her. I also caught the ‘right now’, which gave me hope that could change.
“I would never physically hurt you. I know I flew off the handle and slammed stuff around, and I’m sorry, but I would never raise a hand to a woman in anger. I need to make sure you understand that. She nodded slightly, focusing her gaze over my shoulder again. I dragged in a deep breath and released it on a sigh before continuing my explanation.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know why the hell I said those things. I didn’t mean it, any of it. I was just…” I trailed off, feeling way out of my depth here. Molly was looking at me expectantly, and I knew I had no choice except to lay it all on the line here. I took another deep breath and hoped I could get through to her.
“I’m going to be honest, here, Molly. I’m not used to talking about my feelings, and the idea of laying myself bare is freaking me the fuck out. But I’m freaking out more at the thought that I won’t be able to make this right, that I’m gonna lose you before I ever even really have you.” I stopped talking and shook my head, trying to figure out what to say to make this better. “I was jealous, and I didn’t know what the hell to do with that shit. I’ve never felt so unsure of myself in my life as I have these past five days. I’ve second-guessed and doubted myself - and you - until I don’t know what the fuck’s real anymore.”
She nodded slowly as if she understood, and that gave me the guts to continue.
“You know I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’ve never, and I mean never, given a fuck who a girl has been with before. I’ve never cared if I’ve seen her with some other guy after we’ve hooked up. Hell, I’ve been with club bunnies who’ve hopped on another brother’s dick as soon as we’ve finished.” Molly’s eyes widened and she swallowed hard.
“I’m sorry, I know that’s crude as hell, and that’s way more information than you want to know, but it’s the God’s honest truth. That’s who I am, or who I’ve been up ‘til now, anyway. You should know that, you should know what you’re getting into with me. I’ve always been that guy, but with you, I’m not. Within thirty minutes of meeting you, I was pissed off to see another guy’s picture on your cell phone, remember that? I would have never even noticed that kind of thing before. Hell, I would never have even given my number to a woman before.” Her lips twitched at that statement, and she rolled her eyes. I took it as a good sign that she was at least listening to me. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I continued.
“I noticed Brad the day I came to see you at the school, Rome and I both did. We both had the same reaction - there was a good-looking, well-built guy near our women, and we didn’t like it. He’s always been a possessive fucker where Abby’s concerned, and I remember thinking it was something else we had in common. It was news to me though because I’ve never felt that way. You were smiling at Brad, and laughing with him, and he touched your arm…and I started calling him ‘Fuckface’ in my mind, and planning ways to kill him for coming near you.”
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Fuckface?” she repeated, and I nodded.
“Yep, I’ve been trying to remember to call him Brad since he buzzed us into the building ten minutes ago,” I admitted sheepishly. She shook her head, trying to keep from smiling, and I took that as another good sign.
“My life is so different than yours, Molly. I’ve never had a female friend, outside of Abby maybe, but she’s been Rome’s since the day he met her, so I looked at her as more of a sister. None of the men I know have female friends. In my world, men and women hook-up. They fuck, they aren’t friends, so it was hard for me to believe that he could be just friends with a woman as gorgeous as you.”
She scoffed at that, and I wanted to tell her beautiful she was, how sexy her body was, how she drove me out of my mind, but I knew enough to know that would be a stupid move right now.
“In case you missed his comment a few minutes ago after Drew hit you, Brad’s gay, Jagger.”
“Yeah, he told me that before he let me into the building. Didn’t know that when I ran my mouth to you earlier though, and yes, I realize now that if I’d just listened to you, you probably would have told me that.”
