Page 88 of Rome
“I love you, too, stud,” I said softly, and his eyes flared at the endearment I’d used for years.
“I’ve missed hearing that.” He took a step back and reached for my hand. “Walk me to the door?”
I slipped my hand in his and followed him through to the living room, where he snatched up his cut from the end of the couch. He let go of my hand long enough to slip it on, then took my hand again to walk the six steps to the front door.
He released my hand with a squeeze, then opened the door, turning to press a kiss to my cheek before he stepped out onto the porch. With a final promise to meet me at Kim’s office, he bounded down the front steps toward his Tahoe.
“Don’t forget to lock up,” he reminded me as he opened the door and slid behind the wheel. I nodded and waved as he backed down the drive. Once I closed the door and slid the deadbolt into place, I leaned against the door with an almost uncontrollable need to giggle.
I was almost giddy with anticipation. It was only tempered by the knowledge that we had to make it work this time, because I didn’t think either one of us could survive another split.
By the time I left work the next afternoon, my nerves had amped up. I’d left a message with Kim’s receptionist earlier, asking to change today’s appointment to a couples’ session. I was excited to see Caleb, but I was worried that our session might damage the fragile new relationship developing between us.
Caleb pulled into the parking lot just moments after I did, and we met in front of the building. We hugged, and he kissed my cheek before we walked in together. He gave me a confident smile as he held the door open, then guided me inside with a hand at the small of my back. We only waited a few minutes before the receptionist called us back. Kim was pushing away from her desk as we walked in and greeted us with a smile as Caleb closed the door behind us. I sat down in my regular spot on one end of the couch, too, although Caleb chose to sit next to me, instead of on the other end of the couch as he normally did. Once we were seated, Kim wheeled herself into her usual position on the other side of the coffee table, facing the couch head-on.
“Well, I was surprised when I got your message earlier, Abby. It’s been quite a while since we’ve had a joint session that wasn’t dedicated to co-parenting.” Kim wasn’t one to beat around the bush, and I smiled as she got right to the point.
“We’re working things out,” Caleb told her, and he reached over to take my hand in his. I glanced at him, to find him looking at me with a wide, satisfied grin. I was happy to see that he didn’t look as tired as he had recently, and I knew he had gotten a good night’s sleep for a change. I had, too.
Kim nodded slowly, and I could see she was confused. It wasn’t surprising, considering when we spoke last week, I was preparing to go away for the weekend with another man.
“There have been some…recent developments,” I informed her, and she raised an eyebrow at me as she nodded, a small smile tipping up the corners of her mouth.
“Apparently so,” she quipped.
I felt myself blushing as Caleb gave her the highlights of our conversation yesterday.
“I’ve told Abby a lot of the things we’ve discussed during my recovery sessions, but I think that’s her biggest concern, so I thought it might help to talk about my sobriety plan.”
We spent the rest of the session talking through the various aspects involved in helping Caleb maintain his sobriety. When we discussed limiting time at the clubhouse, Kim pointed out that it didn’t necessarily mean limiting time with his club brothers.
“Meet for activities outside of the clubhouse,” she suggested. “You’ve been working out at the gym more, so perhaps have some of the club’s members meet you there for group workouts. Host cookouts or poker parties at your house, rather than going to the clubhouse all of the time for them. During nice weather, consider more group rides if you can. You described the compound to me, so maybe you can incorporate more outdoor activities in the backyard space, like ax-throwing, which would keep you out of the clubhouse itself.”
I snorted at that, and she and Caleb both looked at me. “Viking would kick everyone’s butt at ax-throwing, and you’d never hear the end of it.”
Caleb laughed, then agreed that I was probably right.
We discussed using “I feel” statements when talking things through to help keep an open and honest dialogue from devolving into an argument.
“Using “I feel” statements will help you express your feelings without your partner feeling blamed or attacked and becoming defensive,” Kim said, then gave us examples. It felt a little awkward, which she assured us was OK.
“It will feel more natural in time,” she promised.
As the session came to a close, Kim told us that she was very pleased that we were working on a reconciliation.
“Have either of you heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi?”
Caleb and I both looked at each other, before shaking our heads.
“It’s an ancient practice where broken pottery was repaired with a mixture of lacquer and gold. The philosophy behind it is that nothing is ever broken beyond repair. The thought is also that the breakage and repair of an object is part of its history and can add beauty and value to that object.” She stopped talking for a few moments and held our gaze.
“That’s what I see when I look at the two of you. Broken hearts – a broken marriage – put back together, piece by piece until all the cracks are filled in, and I think the result is going to be a beautiful thing.”
I wiped away tears as we scheduled a joint session for Wednesday afternoon. Caleb confirmed he would still be meeting with her weekly to continue work on his recovery journey.
We walked back out to the parking lot together and stopped next to Caleb’s Tahoe.
“I’m surprised you didn’t ride your bike today,” I observed. “It’s beautiful weather for it, and I know how much you enjoy riding after being stuck with four wheels all winter.”
