Page 74 of Rome
“So how was your date last night with Grant?”
I reached for a handful of chips and a small bowl of salsa as I looked across the table at Amelia and Laura. We’d met for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant on a rare Saturday when neither of them had a shift at the hospital.
“It was fun,” I shrugged. “We met some of his coworkers for dinner. They were all nice, except for one guy who played April Fool’s pranks all night. He seemed oddly obsessed with the fact that it was April first,” I laughed as I rolled my eyes at the memory of the guy’s antics.
“And after dinner?” Laura waggled her eyebrows.
I tossed a chip at her. “We went back to his place for a little while. He drove me home. He kissed me goodnight. I went inside, paid Hailey for babysitting, and went to bed.”
“You hired a babysitter? I’m surprised Caleb didn’t take the kids for the evening. He usually drops everything to spend time with them,” Amelia pointed out.
“It felt wrong to ask Caleb to take the kids so I could go on a date, so I asked his cousin to babysit. Caleb has the kids all day today, and he’s coming over for dinner tomorrow after Church.”
“Does he know about Grant?”
“No, I haven’t told him yet. I mean, we’ve only been out a few times, Lia.”
“You’ve been outfivetimes. He won’t be happy,” she predicted, and I nodded as I ate another chip. I knew it would bother him that another man might potentially be around his kids. That’s why I hadn’t said anything yet.
I didn’t think Caleb was adjusting any better than I was to our new lives, and being without the kids was clearly weighing on him. He wasn’t sleeping well, even worse than I was by the look of him. I also suspected he wasn’t bothering to cook for himself on the nights he wasn’t eating with us. I was forcing myself to eat since I was still nursing Everly. I had lost a little weight because I was going to the gym and exercising more, but I could tell that Caleb had lost some, too. His face was thinner, although I thought he’d packed on some muscle, and he’d mentioned going to the MMA gym Trick ran for the club. His shoulders and arms looked even more bulked up lately, which just highlighted his thinner face.
When Grant had initially asked me out after we ran into each other at the gym again, I’d said yes mainly to avoid going home to an empty house. Caleb had taken the kids to a St. Patrick’s Day family party at the clubhouse that day, so I’d gone to lunch with Grant.
I’d had a nightmare that night that Caleb had met someone else and had moved her into his duplex, making her his Ol’ Lady, complete with a“Property of Rome”cut. I’d been swamped by feelings of pain and loneliness, reminding me of all those years in high school when I’d been so alone, knowing the man I loved was with other women. I’d woken up crying, even more upset than I had been after the confrontation with Paisley weeks ago.
I had still felt out of sorts and vulnerable the next day when Grant had called to ask me to dinner. I’d said yes. That had progressed to more dinners out, together with a concert for a popular local band, a comedy show, and then meeting his colleagues last night.
He was a nice man, very attentive, and clearly interested in moving forward to an actual relationship based on what he’d told me last night. We’d gone back to his place to watch a movie after dinner with his friends. We were curled up together on his couch, which had progressed to kissing and touching. There was a spark there, nothing like the blazing heat I’d always felt with Caleb, but there was a spark that might become more if I let it.
We were interrupted by the return of our server, who took my order first, then moved on to Amelia and Laura. As soon as the server left, Laura announced she needed a quick trip to the ladies’ room, and Lia decided to go, too. I zoned out as they left the table, thinking back to last night.
“I wish you could stay with me tonight, babe,” Grant whispered as he kissed his way down my neck. We’d been kissing for several long minutes, and I enjoyed the feeling of being held close to him, trying to ignore the fact that his cologne – while nice – smelled completely different from the scent of leather and sandalwood that always surrounded Caleb.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered back, my breath catching as he licked over a particularly sensitive spot under my ear.
“It’s OK, I get it. You need to get home for your kids.” He chose that moment to skim his hand over my chest to settle low on my belly. He’d learned from our last make-out session that I didn’t want him touching my breasts while I was nursing. I tensed as his hand rubbed small circles over the soft fabric of my pants, his fingers moving close to the apex of my thighs before sliding around to grasp my hip. I almost sighed in relief that he hadn’t touched me more intimately – a fact that I refused to acknowledge at the moment.
“You’re making me so hard,” he groaned, taking my hand, and placing it over the zipper of his jeans. I reflexively curled my hand around him, cupping his erection through the denim, and I reveled in the low moan that simple action pulled from him. He shifted and pulled away to unfasten his jeans, opening them and pushing the waistband of his underwear down to release his cock.
He reached for my hand again, and I wrapped my hand around his hardness. We hadn’t ever gone this far before. I pushed aside the automatic comparison to Caleb’s long, thick cock, needing to block him from my mind in this moment.
I worked my hand up and down his length, feeling a sense of power as his body shuddered and he moaned yet again. He kissed me, then I felt him slide his hand between my legs, cupping my mound. I tensed again, which caused me to tighten my grip on his cock.
“Fuck, yes,” he gasped, bucking his hips up in response to my hold on him. “I want your mouth, babe,” he said, urging my head down. I slid off the couch onto my knees, then bent over to take him in my mouth, not allowing myself time to think.
I licked and sucked, driving him wild if the grunts and groans were any indication. Part of me hated it, but another part of me, deep down inside, needed the rush of knowing I could please a man like this. I didn’t need lessons in giving a blowjob, thank you very fucking much.
“I’m close, Abby,” he whispered urgently, and I pulled off, using my hand to finish him. His body curled over me as his abs clenched and his hips jerked, and he gave one final, loud groan as the last of his cum spilled over into my hand. I knelt there for a moment longer, trying to process the feelings slamming into me with the force of a tidal wave.
Shame. Empowerment. Regret. Affirmation. Betrayal.
The shame and regret were far stronger than the sense of empowerment and affirmation I got from bringing him pleasure, but the sense of betrayal was the strongest of all. I felt like I betrayed Grant by thinking of Caleb during such an intimate moment. Even worse, I knew I had betrayed Caleb – and myself – for having such an intimate moment with Grant to begin with.
I hurried into the bathroom to wash my hands and try to get a handle on my emotions. I found some mouthwash under his sink and used it to erase the taste of him. As I rinsed my mouth out again, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was pale, my lips reddened and swollen, and I was on the verge of tears. I shakily lowered myself to sit on the closed toilet seat, wrapping my arms around my waist as I rocked forward and tried to take deep breaths to calm myself.
After several long minutes, I felt in control enough to go back out to face Grant. He had fixed his clothing and offered me a wide smile along with a bottle of water. It was clear he was oblivious to the fact that I had almost broken down mere moments ago. He hugged me, and I forced myself to return the embrace.
“You are incredible, babe.”
