Page 49 of Rome
Amelia turned and walked into the kitchen to get to the laundry room which was attached to the mudroom.
“How is she?” I asked quietly, as I followed her into the small room. I took over, nudging her out of the way as I scooped up the dirty towels and washcloths and put them into the washer.
“I don’t really know. Physically, she’s OK,” she assured me when I flashed her a look of concern. “Her blood pressure was raised when she got home, but not much higher than it has been lately. She was just…dammit, Rome, I don’t know how to describe it. She was just emotionless, I guess is the best way to put it. She ate dinner with us, she talked about school with Ethan, but it was flat, like she was just going through the motions on autopilot or something.”
I winced. I wasn’t sure if flat and emotionless was any better than the cold fury she’d displayed this morning. She eyed me with frustration, then turned on her heel and walked out of the room. I shut the door to the washer and poured the detergent and fabric softener into the dispenser, then hit the button to start the cycle before I headed upstairs.
I spent the next half hour reading to Ethan and putting him to bed. I closed his door behind me and started for the stairs. I hesitated outside our closed bedroom door. I had to fight the urge to go in there and check on Abby, but I knew for a fact that I was the last person she wanted to see right now.
Amelia was watching some chick-flick when I came downstairs. I noticed that she had picked up Ethan’s cars and the racetrack and made a mental note to have him clean up his own mess before his shower the next time.
“E’s down for the night, so I’m going to head out.” She barely acknowledged me. I opened the door to the coat closet in the entryway and grabbed one of the hoodies that I kept there. I started to close the door when something else caught my eye. I reached in and removed the leather cut from its hanger, the one that read ‘Property of Romeo’.
I’d given Abby her property-of cut about a month after she’d graduated, when I’d asked her to be my Ol’ Lady. She’d worn it whenever she went to the clubhouse, until we’d gotten married about ten months later. After that, the only time she wore it was if there was another MC visiting, or whenever we went on a club ride. I’d asked her a couple of times why she had stopped wearing it, but she hadn’t really given me an answer and I hadn’t pushed the issue. I knew she was mine. Everyone at the clubhouse knew she was mine, and the ring on her finger announced to the rest of the world that she was taken, so if she didn’t feel like wearing her cut, it really wasn’t that big of a deal for me.
After this morning, though, I fuckin’ knew exactly why she’d stopped. I dropped my chin to my chest, wishing with everything in me that I could go back in time and kick my own damned ass.
I shut the closet door a little harder than I’d intended. That got Amelia’s attention, and she glared at me. I held up the hoodie. “It’s getting’ a little too chilly to ride without a hoodie. It won’t be much longer before I have to put the bike up for the season.” She nodded, then went back to her phone. “Don’t forget to lock up behind me and set the alarm.”
Striding out to my bike, I folded Abby’s cut and put it in the other saddlebag, then put the hoodie on. I rode to Sinner’s house, trying to figure out my next move.
The next morning, I was at Kim’s office about ten minutes early. We spent the next hour talking about my drinking, starting with the first time I’d gotten drunk. Jagger and I had swiped a case of beer from the clubhouse during one of the family cookouts when we’d been fourteen. We’d snuck into the VIP guest room in the annex building that was connected to the clubhouse, with our cousin Lucky, and the three of us got absolutely hammered.
Kim had given me a lot to think about by the time I’d left, along with a suggestion that I make my decision to stay sober public knowledge if I felt comfortable doing that. My family and Trick knew, since he was one of my best friends. Abby’s parents and sister knew, too, but that was it. It wasn’t something that I had ever announced to the club, although a couple of the guys had commented from time to time on the fact that I’d been sticking to water or Dr. Pepper for the last couple of months. When Kim asked me why I’d hadn’t told the rest of the club, I was honest with her.
“Because I didn’t think I had a problem that I needed help with. I figured I didn’t need to drink, so I just wouldn’t.”
“Do you still feel that way?” she asked.
“No, the fact that I have a problem with alcohol has been made pretty fuckin’ obvious.”
I left the shop at six-thirty, thankful that at least that part of my day was problem-free for a change. Abby was soaking in the tub when I got there for my visit with Ethan, or that was the excuse Amelia had given me anyway. She gave me an update on Abby, letting me know that her doctor’s appointment had gone well earlier.
I stayed for a bit after putting Ethan to bed, tightening a loose handle on one of the kitchen cabinets and changing a light bulb in the ceiling fixture in the hallway. I kept hoping that Abby would put in an appearance, but she never did.
By the time I got back to Sinner’s house, I was in desperate need of an outlet for my frustration, so I spent the next hour working out in his basement. After showering, I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and wandered into the kitchen for a snack. It was quiet in the house, and I found a note from Sinner letting me know he’d gone to the clubhouse to play poker.
I had just turned on the TV when a text came in from Abby. It was the first direct communication I’d had from her since Sunday.
ABBY: Do you think you could come over tomorrow? Ethan really misses you, and we should talk.
ME: You don’t even have to ask. I’ll come over as often as you’ll let me. I miss you both, and yes, we definitely need to talk. I’ll be there at eight so I can have breakfast with him.
ABBY: OK, he’ll love that.
Then a few seconds later another text came through.
ABBY: I miss you, too. See you in the morning.
I heaved a sigh of relief at those words.I miss you, too.
ME: Goodnight, baby girl. I love you.
I waited, hoping for a response, but no more texts came through. I was still relieved to know that she missed me. It gave me hope that whatever she wanted to talk about tomorrow wasn’t all bad.
Saturday morning, I pulled into the driveway five minutes early, then opened the saddlebags and took out the white paper bags from the local bakery. Doughnuts for Ethan, along with muffins and bagels for Abby, Lia, and me.
I let myself in, but it didn’t look as if anyone was downstairs yet. I set everything out, then turned on the Keurig machine to make a cup of coffee.
