Page 15 of The Merman's Kiss
My only experience with sirens was limited to what I’d been told by others, and what I’d observed of their behavior at a distance, but no one had ever mentioned these lip-presses as affection. I was technically ‘of age’ this last migration, and my father had gently encouraged me to join the solstice ceremonies like the other mer my age, but the thought wasn’t one I’d entertained even for a second. Thankfully, he hadn’t pushed. I think he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to me for the several year span of a mating, childbearing, and weaning that would take place from a bonding yet anyway, but I suspected he knewthat my thoughts lay here with this landwalker girl whom I cherished.
I hadn’t even left with the shoal to travel to the summer waters last winter, because I felt so out of sorts when I wasn’t near her home, even though I knew she wouldn’t be here for many moons. I’d offered to stay behind and mind the giant snails for the shoal, but the elders had explained that they needed the algae that thrived in the south to bulk up enough to survive the rest of the year here in the less abundant waters of the north. Leo and Elias had been dismayed that I hadn’t come with them, and Leo had commented that he didn’t understand why I would want to stay behind for some fragile landwalker. Who would risk bonding to someone so vulnerable? Why would I favor a mate who wasn’t fierce like a siren? Who was so defenseless? I’d bared my teeth and rattled my quills at him, and he had left in a huff. Sadira might not have fangs or claws, but she had a strong spirit and a kind heart. She had no venom, but she was brave and lovely and fascinating.
I knew that my closeness to Sadira was no better than a bargain with the fae. And the fae didn’t bargain unless they knew you were going to lose.I knew that.In the end, I’d finally traveled to the winter waters in time to help the shoal with their migration back home. One of the other young mermen would be returning north with them after bonding his mate, bringing his new merling home on his trip, and I’d joined the return migration to be an extra pair of hands to the shoal in case they needed me.
Sadira’s eyes danced with something I couldn’t read and she still covered her mouth with both hands as I tentatively approached where she sat on her rock, as if she were guarding herself from tasting me again. I didn’t think I’d done a very good job of hiding my body’s reaction to it—especially not my heated cheeks—because she noticeably squirmed where she satagain and apologized for startling me, and then assured me she wouldn’t lip-press me again. I wasn’t sure I wanted that assurance and tried to think of some reasonable way to convince her that my chemical receptors needed tasting again, but I thought of nothing.
It was impossible to even begin to focus as she coaxed me back to her ledge and tried to return to teaching me to plait my own hair. I learned absolutely nothing other than that I’d messed up her previous braiding attempt and that her alluring taste was something I would dwell on for many, many moons.
Chapter 12
Sadira
Thesoftchimeofthe spectral messenger floating above my face woke me before my alarm on the last day of college classes before our break for the winter solstice. Not that I would be going home for break like many of the other students. I would remain at school with a few other students and a skeleton crew of staff, like I did every year. There just wouldn’t be any classes to attend for the duration.
I took a moment to gather my bearings before allowing the spectral to deliver its message. No one ever sent me messages via the spectrals unless my parents wanted to let me know they’d had some kind of change of plans that affected me personally. Lots of people used them in daily life to communicate with close friends and family members, but only specific races—the younger races, like elves and shifters—had the types of magic that spectrals consumed as payment for their services. Since older races like Lorn’s couldn’t use them, they were basically useless to me.
I assumed my mother wanted to talk to me again about declaring my major—a point of contention for the last fewmonths. I’d wanted to look into various programs suggested to me by my teachers back at the academy, ever since she’d decided which school I would be attending. She made it clear that she didn’t care what classes I chose because it didn’tmatter,but I had to choose something respectable like art, music, or—following in her footsteps—diplomacy or policymaking. The specific classes I selected were entirely inconsequential as long as they fit into one of those majors. I wasn’t attending such a prestigious university as the one she’d selected for me for anactual education, she’d said with a dismissive laugh. No, I was supposed to find a husband “of means” just as she had, andobviously, a top-tier university was the best place to do that.
I hadn’t even had the energy to feel insulted after I’d put in so much work at the academy to place at the top of my classes—because it really wasn’t about her lack of faith in me. She’d never evennoticedthe grades I’d made, or how desperately I’d wanted her to be proud of how hard I’d worked. This was simply who she was, who she’d always been, and I’d finally come to terms with that. But I was angry about the injustice of it. Though I wanted nothing more than to escape into the numbness of uncaring, the simmering anger still burned through no matter how hard I tried to shove it down.
“Just answer it,” Aleda mumbled from her tangle of blankets in the small twin-sized bed opposite mine in our small dorm room. My roommate was more of a morning person than I was, but she’d been up late last night with some friends of ours. Luckily for us, her parents had selected the same university for her, though they actually selected it for her education potential, unlike mine, who only cared about its reputation.
Rolling over in bed to face the swirling point of light that hovered above my bed, I gave it permission to relay its message. My mother’s voice filled the room without any formal greeting,her tone distracted and perfunctory as she informed me that everything had indeed changed.
Everything.
I listened, barely noticing the beautiful display of blue and purple and pink lights where they played across the walls and ceilings of our dorm room as my mother informed me that she’d “actually managed” to arrange a marriage for me. Aleda sat up hastily in her bed, her hair even more tangled than her blankets, her eyes wide and mouth falling open as she stared at me in the same shock I felt from across the small room. The spectral’s light flickered across her face as we listened to my mother explain that she was traveling already for the holidays, but she wanted to inform me before she got too busy that she’d come to a desirable arrangement with a diplomat from a neighboring dark-elven nation whose family she said she’d had her eye on for a long time. This was the first I’d heard of it. She was utterly delighted by the fact that they would no longer need to contribute any more finances for my college expenses—a statement that made my cheeks burn hot with shame to have Aleda hear spoken so plainly—and how well the arrangement would benefit her career, and thus, her social standing, but she left that last part unspoken, at least, even if that had been what she meant.
The horror that struck had me shooting out of bed the moment the spectral blinked out, as it returned to wherever they came from when they weren’t delivering messages. Aleda was saying something behind me, but I couldn’t hear her over the hammering of my heart and my blood pounding in my veins. I was tearing through a box on my shelf, looking for my calling chips—little pieces of stone that could hold the magic that the spectrals consumed—that I never used.
“Sadira, use mine, it’s fine,” Aleda said, placing her hand on my shoulder to still my desperate searching and holding out her little chips of stone with her other hand. “Do you want me to stepout to give you some privacy?” she asked, standing barefoot on the rug beside me with her knee-length nightgown hanging from her slender frame.
“Please don’t leave,” I said, grabbing for her hand. I didn’t care what she heard. I was in a full-blown panic and didn’t want to face this alone. If it were anyone else I’d attended school with, every bit of this would have been gossip fodder before the first class convened for the day, but not Aleda. She’d been my roommate every year at boarding school since I’d met Lorn because we’d liked and trusted each other enough to continue requesting placement with one another, and I was grateful to have her here for my first year of college as well. She wasn’t perfect, I was sure some of our mutual friends would eventually hear about it, but I didn’t care at the moment.
“Okay.” She picked up the bracelet from my desk that contained all of my lockets and then passed it to me as she sat down on the carpet beside me, rubbing at her bleary eyes as she tried to get comfortable.
I selected the locket that held a tiny tress of my mother’s hair so that the messenger would be able to find her and pushed some of my magic into the calling stone Aleda dropped into my palm. A speck of light flickered into existence in front of me to let me know a spectral was ready for my message. My voice shook as I spoke. “Mother, I don’t want an arranged marriage to some stranger I’ve never met,” I said. “I want to stay here and finish my degree so that I can have a career of my own someday, just like you do.”
Aleda nodded along next to me, giving unseen, silent support, but she had a grimace tugging at her mouth.
I cut my magic from the calling chip on my palm to let the spectral know that I was finished, and it was quickly emptied of magic as the light of the spectral winked out. It was gone, searching through the supposed river of souls for the essencethat matched the locket of hair I held pinched between my fingers.
Aleda and I sat and stared at the empty space where it had been for several beats, each of us clearly still processing what this meant for me. I blew out a deep breath and stood to shake my hands out, trying to rid myself of the tingling feeling that had been building unnoticed in my fingers. I’d just moved back to my bed and crossed a leg under me to settle there when my mother’s reply came rushing back.
Just like every time I’d pushed back in the last few years by voicing any kind of dissent, no matter how small, or showing unhappiness with the plans she made for me without my input, she was furious. She didn’t even address me, just launched straight into her rebuttal.
“How dare youeven consider rejecting this arrangement that I’ve so carefully made,” she hissed at me, all the high-pitched, vivacious enthusiasm of her tone in her earlier message gone. “I worked hard to secure this arrangement for you. This is agift!They’ve already agreed to it! And you would throw their offer away and spit on it like some… street wretch!? Aproperelven child wouldneverquestion the guidance their parents gave them after all the sacrifices we’ve made for you. This just shows what a spoiled, selfish child you are! A horrible child. Isn’t it your duty as a citizen of this country to help strengthen the bonds between our nations with an alliance like this marriage? I will tolerate no argument at all about this arrangement. This is perfect in every way. You may finish your semester there at the university, and then after my holiday travels are over, we will be traveling together to Othella where the Markian family lives, and we will spend the spring getting to know his family. If you want to attend college next fall, that will be up to your new husband to decide if he wants to finance for you. Your father and I will no longer be contributing. And if you argue with me further on this,you can say goodbye to any inheritance from us as well. Do not respond to my message again. I won’t discuss it anymore.” And with that, the light of the spectral blinked out, bathing the room in the dimness of early morning light and deafening silence.
In a rage, I sent a message to my father instead, begging him topleaseintervene for me with my mother. Aleda stood and paced the small room with her hand pressed over her mouth as I sat on my bed breathing hard and clutching my bracelet of lockets with sweaty hands, waiting for my father to respond.
But he never responded at all. I wasn’t even sure why I had hoped that he would. It must have been pure desperation, because he’d always just gone along with whatever my mother wanted when it came to me. Or anything, really.
“Sadira, that was…” Aleda started quietly when it became clear that he wasn’t going to respond, but she seemed unsure how to finish. “I knew your parents must be difficult, but I’m pretty sure your mom could at least place as a solid runner-up in the Terrible People Awards if that was a thing someone could win awards in.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t have any problem with arranged marriages—we both know I’ll probably end up in one myself if I don’t find a husband fast enough for my grandmother’s liking,” she added, “but in ourteens?! That seems extreme. We’re not even twenty yet! You’re barely nineteen. And that whole tirade from her? That was basically a masterclass in emotional manipulation.”
I didn’t even know how to respond. I just stared into the middle distance, feeling shell-shocked as the horror in my gut settled into dread and made me feel like I was going to vomit.
She took a seat on her mattress, and we stayed like that in silence for several minutes before she continued. “Maybe… Maybe this could work out,” she said, raising the pitch at the end of her sentence like it was a question, or maybe just trying tosound hopeful. I couldn’t tell. “Maybe he’s hot. And you would get to live far away from your parents this way.”
