Page 17 of Magpies & Mayhem
“I hate who I’ve become,” he said quietly, “and I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I panicked and reacted defensively when you grabbed me.” Jordan took a deep breath, let it out in a shuddering rush, and then turned his back on me and headed back down the hallway.
When he reached the end, I finally got my mouth to work. “Jordan.” He froze mid step and slowly looked over his shoulder at me. “I’m glad she’s dead,” I whispered, knowing he could hear me.
He gave me the smallest nod and then continued on into the stairwell. I watched him go, with the unwelcome sting of tears behind my eyes and a disturbing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Istillhadn’tmadeany sense of my feelings. I didn’t even know how to process what Jordan had revealed, and I couldn’t discuss it with Elara because it felt like a breach of trust for me to share what he said. Grief and rage at what had happened to him, and how he had struggled in response to it, were at the forefront. How washeprocessing it? Was he getting professional help? Was he close enough to his roommates to trust them with his trauma? He said he had no family or friends left, and he seemed absolutely miserable. I didn’t know what to think anymore.
Having him around still seemed like a bad idea, but now that I understood his responses to my provocations better, I was less skittish about him. It didn’t make him any less dangerous to me—or anyone else—but I felt like I understood him better. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not though.
“Yes, that’s a much better fit.” The diminutive elvish employee interrupted my thoughts as the goblin tailor finished pinning the back of the dress that Elara’s mother had picked out as my bridesmaid gown. They’d introduced themselves by name when we arrived at the boutique this morning, but I couldn’t remember them for the life of me.
I tried to recenter myself in the moment and turned to face the mirror in the fitting room. The girl staring back at me in the glass looked like a frickin’ princess. Elara’s parents had spared no expense on her wedding, and as their daughter’s Maid-of-Honor, they’d goneall outon my dress. It was a light-blue ballgown that matched my eyes, and it was the most expensive thing I’d ever owned. Large swathes of white gemstones decorated the bodice, and a big poufy skirt flared out from my waist. While I didn’t normally spend a ton of mental energy on clothes or fashion—I liked them well enough, but I was lazy—I made exceptions for costumes, lingerie, andincredibly expensive ballgowns. I’d been so excited when I selected it from the options I’d been presented with, and I’d been downright giddy about the fitting today. But now, after my interaction with Jordan this morning, my heart just wasn’t in it. It was beautiful. Ilooked beautiful. But all I could see in my mind’s eye was some faceless woman injuring Jordan so profoundly that his whole life was ruined.
“Do you like it, Miss?” asked the employee.
I tried to force my face into some semblance of a smile. “Yes, it’s perfect, thank you.” She beamed at me with pride and my smile became a little more genuine.
“I’m so glad. Your friend is ready. Would you like to see?” The elvish woman pulled back the curtain to the next dressing room and my heart nearly melted on the spot. If I looked like a princess, Elara looked like a queen. Her dress was gorgeous white gauze with gold accents and a backless bodice. Thin gold chains draped over her shoulders and down her back. She stood in front of her own mirror, with tailors kneeling all around her feet to pin up her hem, looking every bit the imperious empress her husband teased her about being.
I just wanted to pick her up and squish her and shout, ‘You’re getting married!’ but she was technically already married, so that would be weird. Not the picking up and squishing part—I did that all the time. I’d had to learn to tone down my physical affections a little bit with her over the years, but she put up with a lot of my nonsense.See? I could learn boundaries… occasionally.“Elara, you look stunning,” I breathed.
She turned to me with a decidedly unsure expression on her face. “It’s gorgeous, but are you sure it’s not too much?” she asked.
“Honey, there’s no such thing. This is going to be the biggest party of your life. Embrace it.” That was clearly the wrong thing to say by the way her face paled, but I pasted on the biggest, bravest smile I could muster. I loved Elara, and I really wanted her to enjoy this, so I forced all my tangled emotions into the background. “The dress is perfect for you. Just focus on how taken Levi’s going to be with it.” And he would. That guy went moon-eyed over Elara every time she stepped into the room and their wedding ceremony would blow his mind. That approach landed better, and her face softened as she turned to face the mirror again and smoothed the dress against her thighs with her palms.
“Deep breaths, honey. It’s going to be great,” I encouraged her, and she gave a small smile into the mirror that became more and more genuine as she looked at me in the reflection. One step at a time. We could do this.
Chapter 11
Everythingaboutthisfeltviscerally wrong to me, but logic said my feelings were what was wrong. I was trying to keep a lid on my crazy emotions.
“You okay, Sid? You look a little pale,” my brother said as the train slowed to a halt outside of the town called Redrock. He shifted the weight of the cage that rested across his lap to prepare to stand, causing Huck to thrash against the already bent wire walls of it. A blanket draped over the top obscured the dragon from view of the other railcar passengers, who were eyeing the covered cage with apprehension.
“I’m not pale,” I grumbled. To the closest passenger I said, “It’s fine, Fluffy just doesn’t know his own strength,” and nodded until the older dwarvish man gave me a confused nod in return. I patted the top of the cage—causing Huck to thrash and hiss again—and stood to make my way off the train. It was amazing that the cage was still holding together, considering the way he was crashing around in there.
Josh groaned as he stood, heaving the cage to chest height and wrapping his arms around it. “I feel like he’s gained weight. What have you been eating, little dude?”
“Burned rats,” I answered dryly as I stepped off and scanned for the street we needed. The refuge was supposed to be located on the outskirts of town, down toward the south, so I headed that direction.
“This is the right thing to do, Sid. You were the one who kept saying from the beginning that he was a wild animal and needed to be returned to the wild,” Josh said for the third time since we left the house this morning.
“I know that.” The streets were hard-packed dirt with a thin layer of sand, and the town wasn’t much to speak of. It smelled like dry earth, and most of the buildings here were made of sunbaked brick, just like they were in Dry Gulch. These old mining and cattle stops were like little glimpses into the past as we wandered farther and farther from the bustle of the train station.
“He’s going to get so big, Sidney. Like as big as that whole saloon,” he reminded me, nodding toward a building with a sign advertising liquor down the road.
“I know that, Josh.”
“Then why do you look so sad?”
“I’m not sad,” I said, and I wasn’t—I was panicking. The thought of leaving Huck’s fate to someone else terrified me. What if he wasn’t okay? What if he got killed? What if he was scared? Even now, I tried to block out the little sounds he made as he shuffled around in his temporary travel cage. He kept making this soft little whimper-cry sound, and it ripped my heart out every time he did it. And honestly, I had no idea why my brain was spiraling like this. I’d raised and released dozens of baby birds, and while it always hurt a little to say goodbye and wish them well in life, I didn’t have this feeling like my skin was too tight or my magic was out of whack just at the thought of it. Maybe it was because their instincts were screaming at them to fly free. Maybe it was because they were comfortable around me, maybe even saw me as a mother figure, but they weren’tattachedto me like Huck was—they were primed and ready to strike out on their own long before I was ready to set them free. But Huck seemed just as reticent about this whole ‘parting ways’ thing as I was. That’s probably why this felt more like abandonment and less like returning him to where he belonged.
“He’s gonna be fine, sis.”
“I know.” I tried to ignore my overly helpful brother as we rounded a corner and the front of the refuge came into view. It was a typical square mud building with large front windows no one could see through due to the thick coating of reddish dust. A large sign declaring it the Redrock Wildlife Refuge was barely legible, also due to the aforementioned dust. Hazards of desert living. I eyed the sprawling metal fences that sectioned off areas to keep animals separated to the sides of the building and probably behind it too. Was that really enough to contain a growing dragon?
Josh clearly sensed my growing apprehension. “This way he’ll be free to live his happy dragon life roasting all the rats he wants, and he won’t burn us and our neighbors to crispy bits.”
“Joshua, I may look calm right now, but in my head I’ve already punched you three times.”
