Page 30 of Leviathan's Song
“There’s a very strong drive for females to birth as many babies as possible, probably because the pureblood birth rate is rather low and so many children are lost to predation. And males…” He hesitated and swallowed loudly. “Males get attached to their partners very easily. For pureblooded mer, that attachment transfers to the child when the mom inevitably leaves them. Mermaids usually start the process by enchanting whatever guy it is she chooses so he’ll stick around long enough to get attached, physically bonded. One of the major drivers in that attachment, that bonding, is physical contact. The process isn’t as fast in the Void as it is in the Boundlands, but it’s still there.”
I met his eyes, and somehow, they looked both earnest and guarded at the same time.
“I’ve spent my whole life wanting things I couldn’t have,” he said. I thought back to his statement last night that cold water felt like home. “I’ve watched my dad become a virtual shell of a man over the years because my mom left as soon as I was weaned, and because he’s part human, he’s still been bonded to her all this time. He can’t un-attach”
Levi visibly tensed, taking a slow breath before continuing. “I can already feel myself getting attached to you. I should have just explained that it would be better for me to sleep separately last night, but I did what I wanted in the moment instead of what I should have done.” He raised his hand and gently laced our fingers together before releasing a tremulous breath.
“Is that why you live in the Void?” I asked, feeling some of the pieces of the puzzle click into place. “You’re afraid you’ll get attached to someone in the Boundlands because the attachment happens faster there?” I studied his face and thought I saw a trace of bitterness there. He removed his fingers from mine and picked up his coffee from the table next to him.
“I don’t want to be trapped.” His voice took on a defensive edge. “I won’t be trapped by someone who isn’t just as trapped with me as I am with her.” He stopped and took a swallow of his drink, and when he spoke again, he sounded detached.
“Mer folk just live such a different life, culturally, and it’s not something I want for myself. But it’s what I was raised around, and it’s what I’ve known for most of my life. Mermaids don’t want a mate, they want a father for their child, and they trap him with their voices. Butthey’renot trapped withhim. Once they’re bored, they’re off to have another baby with someone else, andhe’sstill trapped. Stuck with a baby with no mother and a broken heart, longing for the one who enchanted him. I don’t want that. I won’t do it.”
I looked at his tattoo, with the hidden runes, permanent protection against such enchantment. “Couldn’t you just enchant them back?” I asked, curious. His mouth pressed into a flat line, his eyes on the horizon.
“I’m not strong enough for that. I don’t have that kind of power. Even if I could, I’m not... I don’t want to do that.”
“What do you want?” I asked gently.
He raised his eyes to meet mine for just a moment and the intensity flustered me even as it made my chest feel tight. “I want someone who wants me for who I am and not for how my magic makes them feel, and I want that person to want me as much as I want them.” His gaze drifted down to the manacle on my wrist, my ward. “What do you want?” he returned quietly, earnestly.
Justhim. He was beautiful and thoughtful and fascinating, and he made me laugh. Levi had a light-hearted levity about him most of the time that seemed like it could balance out my serious side in a similar way that Sidney often did. He was strong and confident, and he made me feel safe just by holding me.
He had kissed me like he wanted me, too.
My heart ached for his wounds and his longing, and my eyes stung as he watched me process. I couldn’t say the words out loud, but his expression softened, as if he could read it in my eyes. He set his cup down to reach for me, gently taking my arms in his hands, and pulled me forward to press a light kiss against my forehead. “Can we just… take things slow?” he asked.
I nodded.
* * *
When I walked backinto the shop, Sidney’s eyes flickered over my face again before she bent back over her work. “Now can we talk about it?”
“Please, no.” I slumped into my chair.
“When you guys get married, I want to be your flower girl. You’re going to make beautiful babies.”
I turned to give her my crazy eyes—because what else was I supposed to do when she said insane things like that—but she was still looking at the broken amulet she’d been working on. “He literally just asked me if we could take things slow. You sound insane.”
She turned slowly with a smug grin on her face to let me know she’d won something, and I realized she had just baited the information she wanted out of me.
“You are such a brat.”
She laughed at me, sounding quite pleased with herself.
The workday passed torturously slowly because we were both so exhausted. Sidney alternated between teasing me good-naturedly about Levi and begging to go home and sleep. Eventually, I caved, and we locked the doors an hour early. After a quick squabble—wherein I insisted on going home alone, and told her that Josh needed her and I needed a break from people in general—she relented, and we went our separate ways.
As I came up the walkway toward our row of townhouses, I found Bette on the front lawn, raking up a flurry of familiar white feathers.
“Welcome back, Bette,” I called to her.
She paused and waved. “Hello, dear. Yes, it’s good to be back. Quite a mess out here though.” The word “cat-eater” was distinct as she grumbled under her breath.
“Isadora must be going through a molt again,” I surmised.
“Mmm, yes, that was my first thought too, but, you know, I also found some pieces of men’s Underoos strewn about the grass as well.” She dug around in her feather pile with her rake and pulled a shredded and bloody-looking pair of men’s boxers out, holding them up by the waistband from a rake tine.
“They look like they’ve been ripped clean off the poor soul. You don’t think something happened during the banshee removal last night, do you?” She frowned. “Or maybe someone with an odd kink got lucky.”
