Page 28 of Leviathan's Song
I lay in his arms, feeling my heartbeat slow and my mind begin to quiet with one thought echoing around inside me and taking vicious, sorrowful bites from my soul. What would it feel like to be drawn to the cold, dark depths of the ocean, to feel like it washome, but not actually be able to survive there?
Chapter 10
Sometime during the night,I felt Levi stir next to me. He draped an arm back over me and squeezed me against him, and I smiled against his skin in my sleepy haze. In the next second his body tensed, and he gave a startled curse and lurched backward off the bed with a thud. Another muffled curse, and then a whispered, “Damn, I’m such an idiot.”
I blinked myself awake and drew his covers around me as he stood and left the room in the dark. I sat up in the bed trying to make sense of where I was and what had just happened. Had I done something wrong? I looked down at myself to check that all my clothing was still in place.
No errant boobs: Check.
Shorts still present: Check.
No giant puddle of drool: Check.
Feeling confused, I stood and wrapped my arms around myself, then made my way down the hall, where I found him lying on the couch in the living room with his arm thrown over his face. I stood at the mouth of the hallway for a moment, trying to shake off the fog of sleep.
“Levi?” My voice was small and tentative. I cleared my throat and tried to make it stronger. “Are you okay?”
I saw him wince and sit up slightly, propping himself up on a forearm. “Elara, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Did I do something wrong?” I hugged myself tighter.
“No! No, you’re fine.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “Everything’s fine. I just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
I took a step back and frowned to myself before turning and retreating back down the hall to his bedroom. As I began to quietly shut the door to his room, I heard another door click open and saw Grim lean out toward the living room. It sounded like he said, “You’redefinitelyan idiot, just not for the reasons you think you are,” before pulling back and closing the door again, but I couldn’t be sure. As I finished closing the door, Levi’s muffled reply from the living room sounded frustrated.
I climbed into the bed and huddled under Levi’s blankets in the dark, but I couldn’t go back to sleep for a long time.
* * *
When I wokeup the next morning, it was still early, and I didn’t hear any movement in the apartment. I was too restless and uneasy to sleep any longer. Maybe it shouldn’t have, but Levi’s behavior last night had felt like a rejection, and I felt a little wounded by it.
I made my way to the bathroom to change my clothes and brush my teeth because all I really wanted at the moment was to escape, even if it was just to my little shop by myself. I frowned at my rave costume before sighing and putting it on. This was going to be the weirdest walk to work ever. Not only was I going to be strutting to work in a costume, but it was going to look like a bizarre walk-of-shame. Whatever. I just hoped Sidney remembered to bring my overnight bag with her when she came in today.
I felt silly for my feelings, like I didn’t have the right to feel rejected by him. After all, we’d only shared one kiss. Maybe it meant more to me than it had to him. Maybe it meant more to me than it should have. Maybe I was making something out of nothing, butI liked him, dang it, and I couldn’t change how I felt about it.
So, my brain said the best course of action was to just disappear into the shadows and not hash through it or have some awkward “it’s not you, it’s me” talk. I could take a hint. I’d had crushes in the past (minor ones… from afar) and I wasn’t going to get all clingy on the first one to even barely reciprocate my feelings. I felt like maybe I was trying to convince myself of that last part, but I was doing the best I could right now. I couldn’t shake the hollow feeling in my gut.
After I brushed my teeth and got my amulets and wasps situated and tucked away, I straightened his bed and left Levi a note on a scrap of paper left out on his desk, thanking him for a place to stay for the night. I padded down the hallway in the dark, thanks to the heavy blackout curtains that must have been hung over the windows for Jordan’s benefit, and found Levi still asleep on the couch.
I was mistaken, however, when I thought I could make a clean escape. I heard him stir as I zipped up my boots and cursed my luck. I should have zipped them up outside.
“Elara, hey. What time is it?” He sat up looking confused and, though I hated to admit it, absolutely, wretchedly adorable. His hair was a mess, and he had that dopey ‘still half asleep’ look, which made my heart pinch and made me curse myself internally. I mentally slapped away the little claws his enchantments tried to hook into my heart and focused on his question.
“It’s early,” I answered. It wasn’t even six-thirty yet. “I’m just going to head into work,” I said as I pulled the front door open quietly.
“Oh.” He frowned. “Can I make you some coffee first?” He stood up, still a little unsteady on his feet. “If you’ll give me a minute to get some clothes on, I’ll walk you down there.”
Nope. No. Not happening.My heart was already too tangled up in this guy and the last thing I wanted was to suffer through some kind of pity escort.
“I’ll just get a latte at Starbucks on the way. I’ll be fine. I’ve got my wasps, remember? Thank you for letting me stay last night,” I said quietly, slipping out the door while he was still opening his mouth to say something. I was done being escorted around. I had my own defenses now. I needed some me-time, anyway. I closed my eyes and swallowed. This was fine.
I did not stop by Starbucks on the way, becausehello, rave costume. I also didn’t get any me-time because Sidney was already there taking apart an old amulet chain for repair. She glanced up at my face when I walked through the door and went back to prying apart the chain link. “You don’t want to talk about it,” she muttered. It was a statement, not a question, and in that moment my heart overflowed with love for her.
“No, I really don’t.” I sighed with relief when I spotted my overnight bag on my desk. “Bless you for this,” I said as I jerked it open and started pulling out my change of clothes. “What are you doing here so early? How are your brothers?”
“Josh is fine.” She was growling as she spoke. “His foot wasn’t even broken.” She set down her pliers with a little more force than necessary and reached for her cutters.
“We took him to the clinic, waited hours for him to be seen, only to find out that the chucklehead had just sprained it. Which means he could have shifted just fine and we wouldn’t have had to drag his whiny, human-sized ass across town. They told him to stay off it for a few days and he’d be good as new.” Shifters didn’t heal as fast as, say, vampires were rumored to, but they healed incredibly quickly. “Aaron probably has a concussion, but Sam took him home and kept an eye on him.”
