Page 41 of Leviathan's Song
We decided to leave early Monday so I could have tonight and tomorrow to finish up all the projects I could at the shop, and still have time to pack and arrange to talk with some sprites on Sunday.
Discussing plans with Levi was enlightening. I warned him that, even though we’d try to stay at inns when we passed by a town, since we’d be traveling as the crow flies as much as possible, we’d have to do a lot of camping. He just shrugged and seemed totally unconcerned. He said he’d spent much of his childhood escaping into the cliffs near his house to sleep on the jagged rocks overlooking the ocean. I had a feeling his idea of camping and mine (I felt more at home with the concept of ‘glamping’) were wholly disparate.
By the time we arrived in Oar’s Rest, Levi was anxious and visibly agitated. “I’ve sent three spectrals and gotten no response from my dad,” he grumbled. “That probably means I need to go over there.”
Chapter 15
“Where does your father live?”I asked. “Is something wrong?”
Levi huffed, sounding irritated. “Probably nothing more than usual. He’s here in Oar’s Rest. This is where Grim and I grew up.”Oh.I searched his eyes as the train pulled to a stop, but they looked guarded. “He’s probably just drunk. I’m not particularly worried.” I ignored the minuscule push-back I felt in his magic. Now that I was getting to know him better, it felt more like an extension of his emotional state and less like a personal rebuke.
As we exited the train, he wore an irritated scowl, and I was unsure whether he would prefer I come along or head back to the shop alone, so I asked.
He grunted and gave me a self-deprecating smile before sighing to himself. “Honestly, no, but not because I don’t wantyouthere.”
I nodded, understanding his desire for privacy in what seemed like a delicate family situation. We walked outside, and he turned his glower to the horizon. But then he gave me one of those brittle smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. “But you might as well, right? It’s only fair you see the whole ugly package.”
I flinched a bit at what felt like a retort. I started to explain that I didn’t want to intrude and that he deserved his privacy with his family, but he just shook his head slightly and tugged me along.
“Not here.”
We were heading toward the sea, and the smell of salt air wrapped around us, heavy and sultry. The buildings gave way to large juts of stone that dropped away into the ocean, with a smooth sandy beach carved out below, and he tugged me with him into a large crevice among the rocks.
“I think… I need this for me, for my own sense of security. Look, I just…” He paused for a second to gather himself, pulling his hand down his face in frustration. “Please tell me you can feel this between us too.” His eyes were a little frantic, out of control and vulnerable, and I made myself focus on his words instead of his magic plucking at my emotions. “Because if it’s just me, I don’t know what I’m going to do, Elara.”
He searched my eyes, and while I wasn’t sure what he found, I nodded to show him I was with him, that I felt it. This connection to him was a tangible thing.
Levi heaved a breath, trying to calm his nerves, I thought. And when he spoke next, it was to the rock behind me, his eyes focusing just over my left shoulder. “There are moments when it almost feels like Ineedyou already, and that scares me. Terrifies me. Should that be happening so soon?” His eyes flashed to mine briefly, still full of questions.
“And… Elara, my dad is amess. He’s always going tobea mess. I have to take care of him a lot. And one of my fears—one of many, mind you—is that you’re going to see this part of my life and it’s going to be too much. Too broken, too ugly. I’d much rather know that now, I think, than months from now, when I’m in too deep.”
His gaze snapped to mine and held me fast, his eyes intense and wistful. Even with my ward, his enchanting words felt like a living thing, trailing seductive fingers just at the edges of my subconsciousness. His words brought me back to the weary expression he’d worn when I’d seen him on the bus in Dry Gulch, and his troubled eyes when he sold me the trinkets he kept locked away in his room.
“Levi...” My heart beat painfully as I watched his conflicted expression. I didn’t want to push him with physical contact here in the Boundlands, but I still needed to touch him, so I grabbed the hem of his T-shirt in my hands. I wrapped my fingers in it, anchoring him to me. I swallowed thickly, trying to find the words to put his heart at ease and explain my own.
The seconds ticked by, and his breathing didn’t slow, so I reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging him down toward me. The man was simply too tall, and I was going to have this conversation with his face, not his chest.No matter how nice it is. Confused amusement flickered over his features, but he acquiesced and hunched over until his face was only a few inches from mine.
“Levi.” I waited until his expression sobered and I had his full attention before continuing. My voice was soft and calm, and I injected every ounce of sincerity I could muster. “I’m going to come with you, not to evaluate whether the difficult parts of your life are too much for me, but to support you the same wayyousupportedmethis morning, and last night. This is what it means to be together, is it not?”
I searched his eyes and found that some guardedness I hadn’t noticed was there had dropped away completely, and he looked a little hesitant. A tiny bit lost. It broke my heart for him.
“You don’t need to be afraid of showing yourself to me. Even the painful parts. Especially the painful parts. I want to see all the little details that make you who you are because I want toknowyou. Icarefor you. I think I need you too, and I’m okay with that.”
He released a jagged breath, and then his mouth was on mine, soft and urgent, and I was breathing in the scent of his skin before I even realized he was moving. I knew even this much contact was probably pushing his luck, but I had no intention of stopping him or trying to be the responsible one.He’dkissedme, and all bets were off. I wanted this too much, and I accepted my selfishness for what it was.
My response to him surprised even me, my ragged gasp, the surging desire that jolted through me. My blood boiled in my lips where we connected, and instinctively, I opened my mouth to taste him. His lips were smooth and hungry against mine, and I tasted them hesitantly, unable to help myself from trying to connect with him even more since all I felt allowed to touch him with was my mouth, where he’d initiated the contact.
It was shocking when his tongue met mine, slick and intimate against my mouth. He hummed a response and his lure lashed out against me, all the more intense because of his feelings and that it was carried by something musical rather than mere words. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like without my protections. My fingers were like hooks in his shirt and the entire elven army couldn’t have dragged me away from him.
It wasn’t something I’d ever considered before, how it would feel being connected to someone with only our mouths. He pulled away and then kissed me again. And again. Kissing my mouth open and stroking my lips and my tongue so enticingly with his own.
I had to fight myself to keep from gripping his shoulders and arms, so I kept my fingers locked in his shirt, despite my building desire to rise up on my toes and climb higher. I didn’t want to push him farther than he wanted to go, especially here in the Boundlands.
Some passerby whistled and cat-called in a language I didn’t know, causing Levi to stiffen and break our kiss. He didn’t respond but instead rested his forehead against mine while we struggled to catch our breath and rein ourselves in. His pupils were blown out as he stared at my face, and my cheeks felt crimson as I realized belatedly that if he’d responded to the man, his enchantment would have been excessive.That could be embarrassing.
He murmured low, just for me to hear, “You are always welcome where I go.” I struggled to place what we’d been talking about until I remembered his dad. “Just please—” He paused and closed his eyes briefly. “—don’t judge me too harshly.”
Judge him? I just wanted his mouth back. My thoughts must have shown on my face because he chuckled and pressed one more quick kiss to my lips. I gave my own chuckle as I mentally wrenched myself back into the present moment.
