Page 82 of Pucking Them
Huh, and she thinks that she’s testing me.
“Are you the devil?” Olivia deadpans.
“You tell me.”
She picks up a notebook from the low table, which is covered with coasters, bottles of water, and a pair of headphones.
I cross my arms to hide the way they start to shake, when she pulls a pen out of her top pocket and begins writing. “Is that what you call yourself because you don’t believe that you deserve to be cared for?”
I suck in a breath through my teeth. “Don’t…”
She tilts her head, still writing. “Who taught you that?”
My throat is suddenly thick with tears. My eyes burn.
How does she know? How could she have broken me down with a couple of sentences?
I’ve only just sat down and already, I feel like she has broken through my defensive walls to that nighttime when…
I grit my teeth.
I’m not doing this.
Not now.
This is a battle off the ice, and it doesn’t matter that Olivia is smaller than I am because this is a fight between minds.
Olivia is ruthless, manipulative, and cruel.
Psychologically, she is stronger than Wilder.
But why is she fighting me?
My eyes blaze.
Spiraling, I grip tighter onto my suit jacket. “I’m not talking about?—”
“When was yourFall?” Olivia glances up. Her sharp gaze feels like it’s peeling back my skin. My breathing picks up. Isuddenly feel more alone than I have in years.Trapped.“What did you do that meant you deserved to be cast out from heaven?”
I take a deep breath, remembering the feel of Robyn and Shay in bed with me this morning, while Eden was safe on the other side of me.
I didn’t deserve any of it.
“Nothing,” I growl. “Now, can we get onto why we’re here? You know, hockey? Coach wants me to be on my top performance tomorrow.”
“Don’t we all?”Olivia taps the pen on her notebook.
Startled, I realize that she’s doing it in rhythmic patterns of three.
Is she doing that on purpose?
I drop my hands into my lap, clutching them together in a desperate attempt to keep them still.
To my relief, she responds as if lowering her own sword, by placing her pen back into her pocket. “Now, this is just a preliminary meeting to get to know each other. Then I can work on a plan for you. In later sessions, we will work on your breathing, attentional exercises, and emotional regulation.”
My shoulders relax marginally. “That sounds fine.”
Olivia studies me far too intently, making me uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, D’Angelo, I insisted that this room be soundproofed. Both players and staff have full confidentiality when they’re here with me. It’s a good place to talk and take off the pressure.”
