Page 83 of Pucking Them
Not going to happen.
Olivia looks at me expectantly.
When I don’t reply, she gives me a disappointed look that doesn’t work either.
“Well,” Olivia’s lips pinch, “I’m sure you know that I will be working on pushing you to peak performance.”
I snort.
“Something to say?” She gives a thin smile.
I shrug.
“I’ll also be helping you handle pressure better and build more resilience. Then when you face unexpected challenges, you are less likely to fall apart.”
“What?” I narrow my eyes.
“Don’t you want that as a goal? I thought that you would after what happened when you faced Wilder Talon in that first game. Your coach was clear to me that I needed to teach resilience to every member of the team but especially to Mr. Prince and you?—”
“Fuck coach.” The words spill from me the moment that Olivia mentions Shay, before I can hold them back.
The words hang between us.
Violent.
Exposing.
She holds my gaze, searchingly.
I am the first to look away.
“This is a safe space,” Olivia reassures, patronizingly. “Nothing that you say will be reported back to the staff. Why are you so angry at your coach?”
“I’m not.”
I can’t meet her eye.
“Is it because he gives you orders?” She asks. “Has control over you? Is an authority figure? Do you hate anyone who holds you accountable?”
“I don’t hate coach.” Why am I sweating?
I should stand up and leave.
But I need my meds. They’re the only thing that allows me to keep functioning, playing hockey,surviving.
And this week is the most important of my career.
I can’t let my pride make me walk away. If I do, then I would need to find both a new therapist and psychiatrist, reliving everything all over again to be prescribed my meds.
I don’t have time for that.
Ican’tdo that.
“Do you hateme?” Olivia arches her brow. “You’re glaring.”
I am.
I struggle to blank my expression. “I need my meds.”
