Page 39 of Pucking Them
I shrug.
Robyn stares at me in shock. “You’ve never watched it.”
“Shay was the one who watched television. I usually studied or read. I never went with him to the cinema.”
I hate the sense at movies that I can’t see the exit. In a room, I need to know that I can escape.
For years, both Shay and I wouldn’t close the door to rooms we were in because of the fear of feeling trapped.
Shay loves movies enough that he overcame that to go to watch them with his friends. But they weren’t my friends. And I didn’t want to go by myself.
“Then I’m planning some dates, and we’re having movie evenings of our own,” Robyn says, firmly. “Why did you chooseThe Wonderful Wizard of Ozfor this week?”
“Cas suggested it.” I tilt my head. “He said that he’s planning something special, and I would…” He said that it would make melook goodwith my sub to prepare her ahead of time by discussing the book. I don’t want to tell Robyn that. I need some mystery. “He’s reading it with the online Wonderland Book Club that he runs.”
Robyn perks up. “That’s great. I didn’t know that you’re part of that.”
“I’m a lurker.”
When Robyn scrutinizes me, I shift, pulling her onto my lap.
“Cas is shy,” she says. “He doesn’t know many people around here. I’m glad that you two are becoming friends.”
“We’re not friends. We just bond over books.”
Robyn smiles. “Same thing.”
Is it?
Maybe making friends is easier than I thought.
Robyn glances down at the book in her lap.
To my surprise, a cloud passes over her face. “Leaving Freedom and following Wilder into his glamorous world of the NHL in Pittsburgh was like being Dorothy. I realized quickly that I definitely was no longer in Kansas, you know? But it took me seven long years to work out how to get home again.”
When I pull Robyn closer, she drops the book amongst the cushions, looping her arms around my neck.
I am distracted by her freshly showered scent. I could rest just like this with her quietly for the remainder of her date.
I am happiest with her in our study, when we are simply working side by side on our own work.
I share my silence with her, and she shares hers with me.
I am never moretogetherwith her than in those moments.
She lays her head on my chest.
“I love listening to the sound of your heart,” Robyn whispers. “I know that I’m here.I’m home.”
I’m sure that she must hear my heart jump.
I kiss the top of her head. “If you felt like Dorothy, then I was the Tin Man. I didn’t understand my emotions or feel like I had a heart until I met you.” The words burn my throat, but I force myself to keep talking. It’s hard, but this is Robyn, the only woman who I can talk to. “I still struggle. But with you, I am beginning to feel like maybe I could have a heart.”
Robyn is the one person who I let down my mask around, apart from my brother. It’s difficult to be open like this.
My stomach churns.
Robyn squirms around to stare up at me.
