Page 8 of Radiant Exception
His mouth gaped, stunned by the hit, but no words came from his lips. He merely raised his palm to rub where I’d hit him.
I’d long thought about what a reunion with Cassidy would be like. Especially after I’d been left on my own. I wondered where he was and if he had a family. I wondered if he ever thought of me like Ithought of him. And sometimes I even considered what it would be like if he and I somehow found each other again. Would the tension we’d always skirted around during our teenage years still be there, lingering in the shadows, waiting to pounce?
In none of those scenarios did I punch and berate him, but here I was, doing exactly that.
“I thought you might be dead when you missed the funerals.” My voice trembled, despite my best effort.
His expression fell at the plurality of that last word. “I’m…sorry…”
Without another word, I launched myself into his arms. Strong and warm, just like I remembered. He pulled me in so tight, it was even better than I remembered. He even smelled of the same faux cedar scent of his aftershave. Xavier and I had made fun of him for picking the scent when he’d begun to need to shave regularly, but he’d just rolled his eyes and shoved my brother for the slight.
“I’m so sorry, L,” he whispered into my hair, holding me even closer, his palm cradling the back of my head against his chest. “I was working on a heliopause relay station, so I didn’t hear about what happened until long after…and by then I thought…I figured you might not want a reminder about how things were before. It was selfish.”
I digested his admission. Heliopause relay stations were situated on the very edge of the system and had notoriously abysmal communication capabilities, which was why they required the sharpest minds in communications to man them and keep the systems functioning. I felt any residual hurt waning.
Moreso, when I hadn’t been working underground with IA, I’d been off-grid seeking to fulfill my own vendetta. I didn’t even know if he’d have been able to locate me if he’d tried. He was right in front of me after having been lost to me for so many years. Was it worth holding a grudge over something that had been out of his control?
I decided I’d lost too many people already to take his return for granted. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to feel comfortable around a familiar face despite the stress I was under due to the mission and Vaughn’s attitude. Was that so wrong?
Reluctantly, I removed myself from his embrace. “How are you on theRadiant?”
“Been with the ship since she launched last year. Chief comms officer.” He flashed me the same boyish grin I used to fantasize about. “I’d ask you why you’re here, but Natalie’s been running around the ship telling everyone about the captain’s exception and trying to organize a surprise party for the two of you.”
Unable to control my expression around Cass, my face fell.
“We never could get the timing right…” He ran a hand through his hair.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. We’d exchanged longing looks for years, but he’d never taken a shot. I figured he’d been worried it would cause trouble with Xavier, and I’d had the same concerns myself, but seeing him again, after more than a decade had passed, it felt as though something had shifted between us. And Xavier was gone… There was nothing standing in our way.
Except for my newly minted exception.
I could feel Cassidy studying me while I spiraled. His eyes swept over my features, perhaps making the same observations I’d made about the things that remained, like my unruly chocolate hair up in my signature messy bun, the lack of makeup, which I’d never liked, or the fact that with my boots on, I was only a few inches shorter than him, almost eye to eye.
Or maybe he was seeing the differences, like the sallow tone of my fair skin from being sequestered indoors on Mars for the last three years, usually hiding in an engine bay or garage tinkering. He could have been observing the fine lines edged around my blue eyes, which had lost their luster since I’d lost my family.
But when his eyes fell to my mouth, I thought perhaps he was thinking about how it was pressed in a firm, flat line of frustration, instead of the wide, beaming smile of our childhood. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled so big that it hurt.
Cassidy Paulson being on this ship was not part of the plan. Considering what was supposed to be going on between Vaughn and me, I needed to tread very carefully, so as not to expose our relationship for the fraud that it was.
“Were you looking for someone up here?” Cassidy tried to discharge the tension in the air between us. “I can show you how to page someone on the comm.”
“No, just giving myself a tour.”
“I figured the captain would’ve liked to have shown you around,” he cleverly noted.
“He wanted to, but he was too busy with the impending departure,” I lied. “I don’t mind.”
“Have you seen the upper deck?”
I shook my head.
“Let’s go take a look at the bridge, then.” He gestured for me to proceed before him down the only hallway. “I think Jordan’s running through diagnostics.”
And sure enough, when we made it to the bridge, there was only one person darting about the expansive room, lined by the biggest windows I’d ever seen on a ship before, giving them a spectacular view of the chaos of the port below.
The woman’s umber skin seemed radiant, regardless of the desaturated Starlane jumpsuit she was wearing. With her dark hair slicked back into a high ponytail, she appeared to be the embodiment of professionalism, and completely oblivious to the fact that she was no longer alone on the bridge as she flitted between stations and screens to assess the pre-flight checklist.
“Jordan,” Cassidy called out to her.
