Page 18 of Radiant Exception
She took a beat to consider her words. “I mean…it’s obvious he’s attracted to you.”
Oh.
“Is it?”
“Trust me, I’ve never seen him look at anyone with such intensity before.”
“But intensity isn’t love.” I wanted to make sure we were on the same page because the intensity she‘d seen might have been hatred, not attraction.
“I told you, the captain is an Aries. He’s as fierce of a leader as they come, but they don’t like to be challenged, even though that’s what they need in a partner. He just needs time to get used to you, but I promise if you can work through it, the other side will be brilliant. Air and fire signs are a perfect match, sexually and intellectually—you balance each other out. Where he’s more brazen, you’re more analytical, where you’re more clinical, he’s more intuitive,” Natalie offered.
I still wasn’t sure about the astrology of it all, but it was clear that Natalie was an excellent read on people, and she just used astrology to channel those observations.
“How can I get him to come around? I thought I knew him so well after talking to him for so long, but now that I’m here in person, everything is different and I just feel lost and…lonely.”
“You’re lucky I’m a Libra. We’re a great bridge between signs and excellent at conflict resolution.”
“You’ve known him for longer than I have and you’ve been in close quarters with him the whole time. What am I missing? How can I make him happy?” I tried.
“He doesn’t like to be questioned, but I think questioning things is your favorite thing to do.” She giggled; I groaned. “If he wants to be in control, let him.”
“Let him?”
She gave me a pointed look.
Oh, she meant sexually. I choked out a laugh, which had her giggling again.
“He wants to feel like he’s in charge, but just because he feels that way doesn’t have to mean it’s true. You know the old adage: behind every powerful man is an even more powerful woman, or something like that.” She waved her hand, as if to clear the air of any potential inaccuracies of the statement. “If you give him what he wants temporarily, or at least pretend to, he’ll feel like he’s won andthe tension will dissipate, allowing the two of you to forge a more authentic relationship.”
Could it really be so simple?
Then again, was it possible for me to stand down?
I’d have to figure that out later.
“But you’re right that first you have to be able to spend time together to work through all of this.” She got up from her seat and made her way over to the kitchen to make her drink. “And that’s something I might be able to help you with.”
“Really?” The feigned earnestness in my voice hit its mark.
She turned around with a bright smile and nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you, Natalie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Slumping over the desk in my room, the code in front of me on the screen blurred. I’d barely slept the last few days. Between avoiding Lark like the plague and discovering new code almost every day, I could feel in my bones that something bad was about to happen. But without an encryption key or more information, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
I felt helpless, as if I was watching granules of sand running through the hourglass, when time was of the essence, but there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop any of it. There was information running through my ship that was contributing to something major, and I could do nothing but sit and watch the encrypted code appear and disappear, like those grains of sand.
Stashing the contraband comm that I used to review the coding without being tracked by any data collection services, I rubbed at my eyes. I needed to sleep, badly, but anytime I had tried to do so since we’d taken off, all I could see were lines of code dancing behind my eyes, or the giant list of things I needed to do on the ship, or my wife’s shapely and long legs and pouty lips…how red and wet they’d been after the kiss we’d shared the first day I’d met her.
“Fuck,” I grumbled.
Lark was a distraction I couldn’t afford. I thought if I avoided seeing her tight ass and those devious blue eyes, I might escape unscathed. But still my thoughts wandered back to her small, warm hand in mine as she tugged me into the mess hall with a look of fierce determination etched upon her soft features. I hated that she consumed my thoughts and that she made me want to do things to her that I hadn’t thought about in a long time…things I’d sworn I was finished with.
I’d lost every single person I’d ever cared for, so allowing myself to care about another person was out of the question. It was bad enough that my crew was constantly bringing down my barriers, despite the fact that one of them was against me…proof that I shouldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable with others.
Every morning, waking up in my quarters, I could smell her, as if she’d just been lying next to me. A light scent of lilac dusted across the pillow on the side of the bed where I didn’t lie…where I knew she slept.
At the very least, she’d been doing a good job of keeping the room clean, surely having sensed that cleanliness and order were very important to me. I had enough to worry about, so tripping over dirty laundry or not being able to find what I needed very quickly were things that were easily in my control. I liked a tidy space, and I appreciated that she seemed to as well.
