Page 19 of Radiant Exception
But she couldn’t hide her presence entirely. Other than her smell, there were small things. Her clothes in the drawers that had been previously empty, a matching toothbrush next to mine, andoccasional strands of long, dark, wavy hair along the floor before the automated cleaning system ran through its daily cycle.
At first it irritated me, but then it became a nuisance of a different kind. Every now and again, I found myself lingering in bed with the desire to shove my face into her pillow. I’d snooped through her things, despite the courtesy I should have extended, allowing her privacy.
I could lie to myself and pretend that I was doing it to vet her; after all, we were sharing a space. Just because Darren said she could be trusted didn’t mean that was the truth. But that would be a lie. At the very least, I still had enough of a conscience to feel like a creep, but something inside me wanted to know her. And seeing these hidden pieces of her felt like I was granted a view few others would have.
And what I’d learned from these bits of her was that she was simple, and tidy, and utilitarian. She’d arrived on the ship with only a backpack that held a few essential sundries, a couple changes of clothes, and a single sentimental item, a photo of a younger Lark with a boy who I assumed was her brother, given they looked like an almost identical, gender-swapped version of one another.
Both tall and lanky, the same color wavy hair and blue eyes. Curiously, the youthful Lark appeared to be quite focused and serious, whereas her brother carried a wide, goofy smile— gregarious, where she seemed to be astute.
I found it interesting that what I’d seen of her so far on theRadiantwas much more similar to how the boy in the photo appeared. And while others might have wondered what had happened in theintervening years to cause her personality to change so dramatically, I could see her for what she was—a phony.
After all, it took one to know one.
The easygoing, but skilled chief engineer toiling a few floors below me wanted people to see her that way, likely because she had seen how her brother had been, how easily a personality like that draws people to you. And in her line of work, it was paramount that you know how to wear many masks. But I saw through her.
She was still the focused young woman in the photo, determined to succeed, albeit behind the facade of her own creation.
And if I could see all of that from sparse minutes of interaction, and one hell of a kiss, god help me for what she could see in me. I hid behind so many layers of protection, sometimes I didn’t even know who I was anymore, or who I wanted to be.
My official comm buzzed next to me, indicating my sleep shift was over. Unfortunately, I hadn’t gotten any. After stashing the contraband comm in the safe hidden under the sink in the bathroom, I made quick work of showering and getting ready for my shift up on the bridge, where I would relieve Jordan from duty for a while.
I made a quick stop to the mess hall to grab something to eat before heading up top. Cassidy was leaning against the counter, shoveling some sort of cereal into his mouth, probably with the same idea as me.
“Mornin’, Cap,” he said through a mouthful.
“Paulson,” I replied, sidling up next to him to program what I wanted into the food generator.
“How’s Lark settling in?” He set his empty bowl down on the counter next to me.
I glanced over at him, uncertain why he was asking about her. “Fine.”I think.I didn’t say the last part out loud.
“She’s had a rough go of it, you know.” Cassidy rinsed the bowl before setting it in the sanitizer.
My gaze locked on him. What did he mean by that? “Has she?” I questioned, eyebrow raised. I hadn’t intended to come across as intimidating. Cassidy had always been rather skittish, but I wanted to know what he wasn’t saying...
His lips parted, realizing he’d overstepped, and trying to figure out what to do next. “We grew up together,” he sputtered nervously.
Shit.
“She didn’t mention it?” He seemed disappointed.
“No.” I went back to the generator. “We’ve been rather busy.” I meant with the ship, but I allowed the alternative implication to sink in with him instead. I didn’t like that he knew her. I didn’t like that I could sense the interest he had in her.
Cassidy’s throat bobbed.
I wanted to ask him more, but doing so would reveal that she and I clearly didn’t know much about each other.
“She’s so different from how I remember her,” he offered. “Losing Xavier and her parents…I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”
I made eye contact with him again, intent on staking my territory. “Good thing she has me now, then.”
His shoulders sagged, despite the soft smile he gave me. “Right.” He nodded.
“Any issues in comms I need to be aware of?” I asked, making it clear we were done talking about Lark.
“No, sir.” His posture straightened, going back into work mode without hesitation. “The channels have been quiet. I’m actually a bit surprised; normally the shipping lanes are a little more talkative.”
His observation only added to the sinking feeling in my gut.
