Page 126 of The Other Side
“When was the last time you spoke to your mother?”
“Last weekend actually.” I folded my hands into my lap, trying to get comfortable on the big couch in my therapist’s office.
Dr. Short was a friendly-looking older woman, maybe in her late sixties. Chance had helped me find someone who was covered under the school’s health plan, and after everything I’d been through, they had been more than willing to make sure I was able to see someone who could help me process everything, rather than sue them.
“How did that go?”
“Good.” I met her gaze. “It’s not as awkward as it used to be. I suppose I wish the circumstances were different, but a part of me is glad she has Jake and Jenny and their kids. I was never going to be able to give her what they do, so I’m lucky that she has a support system that can give her what she needs. I still don't feel a strong connection with her, or a desire to have her be a bigger part of my life, but I’m just not as angry.”
“Hmm.” Dr. Short liked to hum when she found something particularly interesting.
“I find these days I’m less angry in general.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, being that close to death makes one reevaluate things.” I chuckled.
Dr. Short smiled, but she didn’t comment.
“I realized after everything calmed down that I had been holding on to so much anger, for some things that had happened decades ago…things that couldn’t be changed. And it wasn’t serving a purpose for me to internalize all of those emotions.” I looked out the window onto the main street of the town closest to Montgomery.
“I think I’ve needed to let go for a while. I need to move past all the resentment in order to step forward with my future.” I paused, processing my thoughts. “I think it was Chance who made me realize how bad things had gotten. Because having a single person in my corner has changed everything. And if I hadn’t fought so hard to push past my fear of betrayal and failure, things I was hanging on to from past relationships, I would have lost him. Facing that fear and making the choice to try anyway gave me everything. So I’m committed to doing that more.”
“That’s quite profound, Violet.” Dr. Short smiled gently. “And things are still going well with Chance?”
I nodded, cheeks flushing at the memory of how deeply he’d kissed me in the car when he’d dropped me off for my appointment. I could see his car from the window. Knowing he was nearby made me feel a calmness I found hard to describe.
“We’re moving in together,” I told her. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d been nervous to share the news with her.
She raised a brow, but remained silent, allowing me to continue.
“We could have stayed at Montgomery. Like I told you, the headmistress was willing to make an exception as long as we were discreet on campus. And we will be at school. I’m even helping the headmistress to update the code of conduct to be more gender-inclusive. A part of me will always love my time living on campus, but there were a lot of bad memories too, and it was hard to feel safe in the faculty dorms after everything that happened.”
“It sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
I nodded. “Neither of us took the decision lightly. We’ll get a small stipend from the school for living expenses. I was able to refinance my student loans to lower the payment, and I got the courage to talk to my mom about the mortgage, and she agreed she’d be okay if I sent less home. She actually said I didn’t have to send anything because she’s been working for the last couple years, but I can’t help it. It feels like the right thing to do.”
“And how are you feeling about the move?”
“Excited.” I smiled. “When I lived with Harry, everything belonged to him. I always felt like a visitor, and he never did anything to make me feel welcome. But it’s like I’m building a life with Chance. He cares what I think. He puts me first.” I paused, blinking back tears that had come out of nowhere. “He loves me.”
Dr. Short was unable to hold back her own watery smile.
“Are you taking any steps to feel safe in your new environment?”
“Chance has been doing research for weeks to make sure we have the best security system, and Jolene is behind bars and not going anywhere anytime soon. Plus, I think having a fresh space that we can make our own will make it feel safer too.” I leaned back into the couch. “I still have nightmares sometimes, but Chance helps me calm down.”
She nodded, seemingly pleased with my response, and made notes on her steno pad. “And when are you moving in?”
“In a few weeks.”
“Do you anticipate any challenges or stressors?”
“I think money will be tight for a bit, while we get what we need. I know Chance wants to just pay for everything, but I need to feel like I’m contributing equally, and although he only wants to help, he understands. He respects me and my decisions.” I sighed in contentment.
“I’m sure we’ll disagree on things, but we practically live together now. I don’t know the last time he was in his room for anything other than to grab a change of clothes. I think we’re both so motivated to make things work because of the deep connection we have with one another that we don’t let little things get in the way.” I shrugged.
I felt like perhaps I sounded naive, but having experienced a lot of adversity in past relationships, I could feel the difference with Chance and me every day, with every breath, with every word.
