Page 57 of Rush
"You've got to be kidding me," I say.
"I can't do this."
"You keep saying that but your body says different."
He runs his hand through his hair. I can see how shaken he is, can see the want written all over him.
"Your dad will kill me," he says.
"My dad doesn't control who I kiss."
"He controls whether I stay in this club."
That stops me because he's right. My dad has that kind of pull.
"So what, you're going to spend the rest of your life not kissing me because you're afraid of my dad?"
"If that's what it takes."
"That's pathetic."
His eyes flash. "Watch it."
"Or what? You'll kiss me? Because that seems to be the one thing you won't do."
"You're pushing."
"I know—that's what I do." I step closer again. "And you know what you do? You run. Every single time we get close you find a reason to pull back."
"Because there are consequences."
"There are always consequences. That doesn't mean you don't do it anyway."
He's quiet for a second, then he says, "What do you want from me?"
"I want you to stop overthinking and just feel something."
"I feel too much already."
The admission is raw and it makes my chest tight.
"Then why won't you let yourself have this?" I ask quietly.
"Because I'm afraid of what'll happen when I do."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid I won't be able to stop."
The words send heat straight through me and I know he means it, know he's been holding himself back this whole time.
"Maybe I don't want you to stop," I say.
His eyes go dark. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I know exactly what I'm saying."
We stare at each other and the air feels electric, charged with everything we're not doing.
