Page 30 of Rush
But then reality crashes back and I remember who I am, who he is, and what this would mean.
"My dad will lose his mind," I say.
That stops him.
Rush steps back and runs a hand through his hair. "Fuck."
"Yeah, fuck."
We stand there in the cold and the moment shifts, reality seeping back in around the edges.
"This can't happen," he says finally.
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's true. Diesel will gut me if he finds out I touched you."
"So we don't tell him."
"Everly..."
"What? You think I'm going to run to Daddy and tell him you kissed me?"
"No, but someone will see and word will get back."
He's right and I hate it.
The club talks, gossip spreads fast, and my dad has eyes everywhere.
"So what do we do?" I ask.
"We stop, we go back inside, we pretend this didn't happen."
"And then what?"
"And then I stay away from you."
I laugh but there's no humor in it. "You can't stay away from me. You've proven that already."
"I'll try harder."
"Bullshit."
He closes his eyes. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to admit that this is going to happen whether we want it to or not."
"It doesn't have to."
"It does. We both know it does." I step close again. "But here's the thing, I'm not doing this if you're going to keep running. I'm not chasing you, Rush. If you want me, you come get me. But you don't get to kiss me and then disappear."
"Everly…"
"I'm serious. I'm setting a boundary right now. Either you want this or you don't, but you don't get to keep playing this game where you push me away and then pull me back."
He's quiet for a long time, then he says, "I don't know if I can give you what you want."
"What do I want?"
