Page 76 of Sublimate
“Here.” He sat next to me on the bed and handed me a small box, the same size as what he’d given me for Christmas but with pink wrapping paper now and a white bow.
“Did you get me more earrings? You didn’t have to,” I started to protest. “What is this?”
Nolan shook his head. “The point of the paper is to prolong the suspense. Open it and see.”
It was jewelry but I looked up at him, confused. “A ring?” I asked. It was a beautiful ring, silvery looking with a green stone and clear ones—diamonds.
“It’s an emerald like before, since you liked these so much.” He touched one of my ears and then put his hand on my cheek. “This is part of my hope for the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m hoping that you’re in it, because then it’s going to be wonderful. I’m hoping that you’ll allow me to be part of your future.”
“I want us to be together,” I answered. “I want you.”
“Then, would you wear this?” He took it out of the box and picked up my right hand. “I’m not asking you to make any promise to me and I’m not trying to rush us. This ring is a symbol of my commitment to you. One day, if you want to, we could call it an engagement ring and put it on your other hand. Then we could put a band behind it. A wedding band.”
“Like, we would get married? You would want to marry me?”
“If you would have me. But I have to tell you something, first.”
“Do you mean that you want to change up our relationship and have sex? I agree with that idea.”
“You do? I do, too, but—”
First I had to quickly put the ring on my finger so it didn’t get lost, and then I had to kiss him. “I want that a lot,” I said. “I want all of it.”
“Yes,” he agreed. He pulled his shirt over his head, and when it got stuck, he pulled harder and I heard buttons pop. “That wasn’t what I was going to say, though.” He also pulled my shirt off, but a lot more carefully. We leaned back onto the bed and he kissed me again, then looked down into my eyes. “I love you, Vivi.”
“Do you?”
“I do,” he answered.
“I love you, too. I have for so long that I’m not sure when I started.”
“I know when I started loving you—no, I know when I realized it. You were wearing your Cum and Go shirt and eating a piece of the bread I made. You looked up at me and smiled and…I knew. That was months ago, but I wanted to wait. I also knew that I should.”
“Because you’re supposed to have at least a year of sobriety before you get entangled romantically,” I filled in. “And it’s a year tomorrow.”
“It’s a year tomorrow. I jumped the gun a little.” He kissed me. “I’ll keep working on that for the rest of our lives.”
“And I’ll support you as you keep at it, just like you support me. Since I love you.”
His hand moved to support my breast, too, and this all felt so different. I was quivery again, not scared and not full of dread. When he kissed my neck, it was like I was melting. We peeled off the rest of our clothes, none of which had any writing, and he settled on his back with me on top.
“What do you like?”
I shook my head. “Whatever.” I had liked everything so far.
“Should we try things? You tell me if it’s right.”
He smoothed his hands down my back and to my butt, which was right. Then he adjusted my thighs so that I leaned forward and straddled his hips, and that felt even more right, especially when I also moved to massage our bodies together. He kissedme at the same time and played with my breasts and it was perfect.
“I like all this,” I panted. “So much.”
“How about this?”
He turned us over and went between my thighs again, but this time with his tongue.
