Page 71 of Sublimate
I stayed beneath the sheets, trying to catch my breath. I ran my tongue over my lips, which felt swollen—a lot of me did, like my breasts and the place between my legs, which was throbbing. I needed water. I also got up and went to another of the bedrooms up here. Like Cadence had done the night before, I stuck my face under the cold water tap.
When I got downstairs, she was on her way out the door. “No, I can’t stay. I really need to go back so that my mom and I can discuss things,” she told me. “I have some serious issues to go over.” She drew in a breath that stuttered.
“You don’t have to be scared,” I encouraged. “Just tell her what you said to me last night. You’re almost thirty. Thirty.”
“I’m not even twenty-nine yet!”
“I’m saying that it’s great,” I told her. “It means that you’re definitely old enough to be in charge of your own life. You can cut your hair how you want, wear what you want, and spend your money however you choose. You don’t need to argue with the person who’s a guest in your house.”
“We have serious issues,” she said again, and she definitely sounded serious. She also looked as if she might start to cry, but before she could, she hurried out into the driveway. Then she slowly backed out her car, exceedingly slowly, and she was gone.
I waited in the kitchen with the coffee made because now I knew how to use the machine. When Nolan joined me, he met my eyes briefly but then looked away. He grabbed a mug and filled it nearly to the brim.
“Are you upset about what happened between us?” I asked.
“Upset? No. Ashamed of myself? Yes, yes I am,” he told me. “I’m very sorry I did that.”
“I started it. I was cuddling with you last night and it must have gotten you in the mood.”
He put down his big mug as his one eyebrow went up. “You were cuddling me?”
“Yeah, so if you’re going to be mad it should be directed at me, not yourself. I started it.”
He nodded slightly and sipped. He nodded again, and we sat in silence.
This was not what I had wanted for him or for myself on this holiday. We had been invited to his parents’ house but had decided to stay here alone to enjoy it, and we weren’t.
Maybe presents would help. “Come into the living room, “ I offered. When he did, I went to the closet where I’d hidden his gift and emerged with it outstretched. “This is for you. Merry Christmas.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said. But he smiled as he took the gift bag and removed the tissue paper. “Is this for me to use at school?”
“For your fresh start,” I agreed. “Do you like the color?”
“I do. I love it,” he said. “This is perfect.”
“I know you could buy whatever you want—”
“No, I wouldn’t have been able to find a backpack and water bottle that I like as much as this. Thank you.”
I smiled back. “You’re welcome.”
He also got up and went upstairs, and when he returned, he held a small box that was wrapped and had a red ribbon. “Merry Christmas,” he said as he handed it to me.
“What is this?”
“The element of surprise is part of gift-giving,” he said. “If I tell you, it’s not as fun.”
I removed the ribbon, carefully smoothing it with my finger on the arm of the couch. Then I used my nail to slit the tape.
“You open presents like Beau drives,” Nolan pointed out.
“I want to save everything,” I explained. “I’m not going to lose my stuff anymore so I can keep this forever and remember.”
“Vivi.”
I looked over at him and was shocked by what I saw. “Are you going to cry?”
“No.” But he moved to sit next to me and I wasn’t able to open the box, because he hugged me. “I’m going to give you a lot of presents. I’m going to give you every present you ever wanted.”
