Page 43 of Courting Miss Lancaster
“I dare because I am worried for her,” Dalforth answered, infuriatingly calm. “You have purposefully, knowingly introduced her to gentlemen she could never and would never be happy with.”
“I have done this to help her.” Harry was angry enough to defend himself even though his conscience hadn’t been easy about his approach for some time.
“Help her?” Dalforth shot back. “Tell me, Windover. Did knowing Rigbyhelp her?”
There was no safe response to that.
“I am afraid to even ask who you were planning to introduce her to next,” Dalforth said, shaking his head and wandering to the windows.
“I hadn’t decided,” Harry admitted. He hadn’t moved sinceDalforth had begun his attack, like a man at a mark.
“Was it to be someone worse than Mr. Rigby?”
That single question sent Harry’s heart to the pit of his stomach. Dalforth hadn’t asked it. The person had spoken it behind the two men. It was Athena. Dalforth’s look of surprise told Harry he hadn’t realized they’d been overheard either.
Harry took a deep breath and turned around, but he wasn’t prepared for the look on her face. Those eyes that had gazed at him so trustingly the night before were looking at him with a mixture of hurt and anger.
“It isn’t actually true, is it, Harry?” she asked. “It was coincidence that the gentlemen you introduced me to proved so...” She shook her head, her expression growing more pained. “You wouldn’t have chosen them on purpose.”
“I...” But he could think of nothing to say. How could he explain his motivation without admitting to more than he was willing?
Her look grew absolutely stricken, his silence saying what he couldn’t. Harry crossed closer to her, but unlike the night before, she stepped back, keeping a distance between them.
“But you were my friend,” she said, her tone and expression cutting into him. “I depended on you. I trusted you.”
“I never intended . . . It wasn’t—”
“Miss Lancaster,” Dalforth interrupted. “Do you still wish to drive in the park?”
Athena looked up at Dalforth, the confusion and pain in her face heart-wrenchingly apparent.
“I cannot stay here just now,” Athena replied, almost pleaded. “I need... I need to...”
“You need some time away.” Dalforth nodded as if he understood what she was trying to say. “We’ll drive through Hyde Park. Slowly.”
“Do you promise you won’t introduce me to anyone?” Athenasaid, a strained attempt at humor.
“Not a soul,” Dalforth answered with a smile.
Harry’s stomach twisted inside. Teasing Athena out of the dismals had always been his role.
“Thank you,” Athena said quietly.
She looked up at Harry then, briefly. That look would haunt him, he knew. It was so full of pain, disbelief, frustration.
“Good day, Mr. Windover,” Athena said, her tone detached and hollow, her eyes already turned away from him. Then she was gone, escorted out by a gentleman who not only possessed an actual income but who also did not stand guilty, in her eyes, of sabotage.
“I was only trying to help,” Harry told the empty room.
The declaration did not appease his conscience. If he were being entirely honest, Harry would be forced to admit that his motives had not been so selfless. Helping Athena find a future husband had not been a task he had wanted to undertake. He had, in fact, wished to help her avoid the undesirable sort of gentleman. The truly helpful approach would have been to introduce her to as many good potential suitors as possible. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Being ineligible was hard enough. Somehow it had been easier knowing he would not personally be responsible for introducing Athena to the gentleman she would eventually marry. So he’d spent his time and effort finding men Athena wouldn’t care for. She simply hadn’t realized that.
I trusted you.Athena’s words echoed in his mind accusingly.You were my friend.
Suddenly he realized Athena had spoken in the past tense—that she didn’t trust him any longer, that he wasn’t her friend anymore.
Harry had concocted the whole ridiculous scheme in order to buy himself time—he admitted it—but the plan hadn’t worked.Instead of keeping her longer, he’d simply lost her entirely. Friendship was all he’d had any hope of claiming, and he no longer had even that.
