Page 72 of Polo Fever

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Are you saying what I think you’re saying?

DID YOU SLEEP WITH POLO HOTTIE????

Ash

Many, many times

Sam

IN PARIS????

Ash

And back home

Sam

I am disgustingly happy for you

THIS IS SO EXCITING

I need details

All the details

Damn work!!! I’ll have to call tonight

So are you guys like a thing now?

Ash

I think so

Yes

We’re a thing

Sam

YAY!!

Wow

Fucking Paris

City of lights

Works every time

I adored Chris Courtney. He craved that adoration, not just from me, but from everyone he met and the audiences he played in front of. I was an added boost for his ego, a fan who panted after him, there when he needed someone to make him feel brilliant. I was so dazzled by him, I didn’t notice that he wasn’t the least bit dazzled by me. He promised me glamorous weekends away. He disguised a deceitful affairwith thrilling stolen kisses, stashing me away in his flashy apartment where I was distracted by flashy things. He told me about his ascent to greatness, all of his achievements, the challenges he faced and overcame. He never asked about my life, my family, my friends, my job or even my likes and dislikes. He fucked me like I was lucky to be with him. And that’s how I felt. Lucky to have him.

Strange, isn’t it, how easy it is to lose yourself in a relationship mirage of your own making, to be so enchanted by the idea of it, you choose to ignore the prickly reality. I only wish I’d smashed and shattered the illusion before the world did it for me.

With Mateo, it’s as though my eyes have been opened to what it can be like.

When he sees me, his whole face lights up. He looks at me like there’s no one else in the room. He’s made no effort to keep our relationship secret, insisting on coming back to my hotel after the Ritz Paris to help me pack up my stuff so we could travel to the plane together, taking my hand the moment I got out the taxi and leading me towards the steps so that no one in the team could be in any doubt about what had happened. A hungover Jules gave me a thumbs up while Lady M peered over the top of her sunglasses at us and then proceeded to follow Garfunkel up onto the plane wearing a knowing smile.

‘Took you long enough,’ she muttered when we sat down next to each other.