Page 97 of Polo Fever
‘Or you could ride her yourself.’ He looks pleased with my answer, gazing up at her happily.
I stare at him, mystified by everything. By my presence, by his presence, by this casual conversation…What is going on?
Glancing back at Hal, who must be getting bored and impatient by now, I find he’s sitting at the steering wheel beaming at me, not gesturing for me to hurry along, nor looking confused in the least by this stranger’s appearance.
‘Mateo, what’s happening?’ I ask, turning back to him. ‘Why are you here?’
‘I told you, I came to see this pony. Her name is Spud, by the way.’ He makes a face. ‘We may have to change that.’
Spud snorts indignantly.
‘No offence,’ he mutters to her.
‘Okay, if that’s why you’re here, why amIhere?’ I say slowly, determined to get answers from him. ‘This doesn’t feel like coincidence.’
‘It’s not. I spoke to your mum and I asked her to get you here somehow so we could talk. I didn’t want to show up at your house unannounced and I thought you might be more willing to hear me out if you were in the company of horses.’
‘Wait, you spoke to mymum?’
‘Yes.’
‘So there’s no interview?’
‘There’s an interview,’ he says, wincing slightly, ‘but it’s with me. I promised her I’d do a piece for her show about polo – we filmed that earlier today. I think it went well.In exchange, she said she’d bring you here so we could talk. I didn’t get away without a lecture. She’s scary, your mum. I am pretty sure that if I don’t get this right, she might kill me.’
‘Get what right?’
‘My apology to you,’ he answers, his forehead creasing. ‘I owe you one, Ash. In fact, I owe you more than that. I owe you… everything.’
He clears his throat, building the courage to say whatever’s coming next.
‘All my life, I’ve been convinced that only polo can make me happy,’ he begins, his voice wavering with nerves. ‘I thought that winning was all that mattered. But since you walked away from me in Spain, I’ve won matches and lost matches, and… none of it seemed to matter anymore. During every match, I was looking for you in the pony lines, hoping you’d miraculously appear so that my heart might start up again.’ He shakes his head. ‘I’ve been sostupid. I thought that giving my all to you meant losing what I’ve worked so hard for – but all you did was make me stronger. It’s like…’ He pauses, searching for the right way to put it. ‘Like, a long time ago, I decided I had to cage off my heart so I could keep my career in check, but by doing that, I dismissed the most important thing in life. The thing that gives everything meaning, makes it all worth it.’
He looks at me helplessly. Spud whinnies in encouragement.
‘My mother told me once about the importance of spirit in polo,’ he continues, his eyes misting over as he pats Spud’s neck, his voice softer, more thoughtful. ‘It’s not just about skill. It’s your heart that tips the game in your favour. “Your heart and your spirit. That is what it takes to win”.’
He takes a moment, smiling at the memory, before his eyes flash at me.
‘You give me spirit, Ash. You are my heart. Without you, I could win every tournament in the world and I’d be winning nothing at all. Without you, it’s empty.’ He takes a step towards me, closing the gap between us. ‘If you let me, I will do whatever it takes to spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you, Ashley Slater.’ I inhale sharply and he smiles in relief and fear, like he’s been needing to say those words this entire time but he’s been scared to. ‘Because I do. I love you so much. I don’t care if I never win a polo match ever again, buttell meI might have hope to win you again.’
He reaches up to brush my hair back from my face as I gaze up at him, speechless.
‘I should have run from that yacht the moment I knew you’d be upset. I should have begged you to stay when you left the party in Soto. I should have made you know how much you mean to me every day that we had together.’ He frowns deeply as though pained, his throat bobbing. ‘I deserved to lose you. I was so frightened of how you made me feel, how you made me question everything. I felt so torn and confused. All these principles I had, the way I’d lived my entire life up until you. The beliefs I’d rigorously stuck to in the hope of being someone worthwhile. But now I know that it’s loving you that makes me worth something, Ash.’
I blink back tears.
‘I’m so sorry that I didn’t see that before,’ he says softly, his eyes searching mine. ‘I’m sorry that I hurt you. If you let me, I promise to spend every day from now on doingeverything I can to protect you from any hurt from anyone ever again. More than anything, I want to be with you, Ash. I’m here to ask you to please consider giving me another chance.’
As he concludes, his chest is heaving with every breath, his eyes soft with hope and fear, his lips slightly parted. He’s always so sure of himself, Mateo, but not in this moment. No, right now, he’s uncertain and afraid, more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him. It’s a strange, daunting feeling handing your heart over to someone else. I would know.
I handed mine to him a while ago, even if he didn’t know it.
‘Ash,’ he says so quietly, it’s almost a whisper, ‘please say something.’
I’ve been so astounded by this sudden avalanche of information and emotion that I’ve been stood in total silence while I process it. There’s a tingling sensation in my toes spreading up through my body, sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy and causing my heart to thrum and my breath to come out all shaky.
Finally, I manage to think of something to say.
