Page 146 of Love Unscripted
That tender word.
Oh, how she would miss him when he left.
She closed her eyes and whispered a quick prayer.
Lord, strengthen me.
She straightened her spine, wiping her face with the back of her hand. When she began speaking again her voice was calmer.
“I told you that Simon and I were having an affair that started three years after I beganShadow Peak. I was desperately in love with him. He seemed to love me too. Anything I wanted it was mine. He made it happen. He accommodated me, supported me, guided me. And then I discovered I was pregnant.”
The words came slower now.
“When I told him. I thought that he would finally divorce his wife and marry me. Instead… he told me that his wife could never find out and that I needed to get rid of the baby.”
Her hand trembled against her stomach.
“He said we could have children later. That the baby was barely developed—just a clump of cells.”
Tears slid down her cheeks again.
“Then he said if I didn’t do it… we were over.”
Her voice cracked.
“I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him. I wanted to believe him. I rationalized everything he told me.”
She closed her eyes tightly.
“But the moment it was done… I felt terrible remorse. The truth of what I had done hit me like a flood. It was as though God opened my eyes.”
Her voice trembled.
“That was not a clump of cells. It was my child. Flesh and blood. A human being. An eternal soul.”
She began crying again.
“I had destroyed my own child.”
For several seconds she could barely speak.
“I was devastated. Everything changed immediately. I hated Simon with the same intensity I had once loved him.”
Her voice hardened slightly.
“He noticed. He tried to make amends—offering me the moon and the stars. When that didn’t work he threatened me. Said he would kill off my character and replace me with another actress. I didn’t care. I felt like a hollowed-out shell.”
She wiped her face.
“And then God met me.”
Her voice softened.
“A woman on the set listened to me. She comforted me. She gave me a Bible and one night as I read God’s word He spoke to me… God took out my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh. I confessed everything to Him. I cried and cried.”
A faint breath escaped her.
“And I felt His forgiveness.”
