Page 117 of Edging Coach
I chewed the inside of my cheek.
Emil locked eyes with me. “I’m down an excellent defenseman here in Abbotsford.”
My blood turned cold at the sudden shift toward Devon. Swallowing, I nodded. “Right.”
“Right. And with Ceders being out week to week, there’s a possibility we’ll be without that defenseman for the rest of the season.” He rocked his head from side to side. “Even if Ceders comes back in time for the playoffs, Vancouver’s coaches and GM have already told me they want to keep Jarvis up. If he plays as well going forward as he did last night, they’re not letting him go.”
My mouth had gone dry even as pride swelled in my chest. “As they should. He’s an asset to any team.”
“As are you.” Emil folded his hands on the desk, never breaking eye contact with me. “Are you asking me to have Abbotsford lose their best defensemanandtheir head coach in one fell swoop?” His eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Or can I count on you to get us through the rest of this season?”
For the life of me, I had no idea if Emil knew about my relationship with Devon, if he was fishing because he had some kind of suspicious inkling, or if he genuinely was worried about losing both his head coach and top blue liner. I couldn’t readbetween the lines well enough to figure out where he was coming from.
But once again, I could tell him the truth.
Nodding, I said, “I’ll stay through the end of the season. And postseason, if needed.”
Emil released a breath. “I appreciate that, Jack.”
I tried not to fidget under his scrutiny. “If you’d like, I can start giving the reins to Amy more and more.”
He arched a brow. “You really think she’d make a good head coach?”
“I’ve played under good, bad, incredible, and terrible head coaches. Amy would be anexcellenthead coach.”
Emil chewed his lip and nodded. “Let me watch how she does things over the next couple of weeks. I’m still going to put out feelers for other potential head coaches, but I’ll take your word for it and watch her.”
That was the best I could ask for, I supposed. Amy would have to work twice has hard to get half the consideration compared to male coaches who applied for my job.
Emil dismissed me, and I paused in the hallway to release a relieved breath. If he did know about Devon and me, he was keeping that card close. I would be wise not to push my luck. Or Devon’s. For the next eight weeks or so, I couldn’t risk being anywhere near Devon.
But if I waited eight weeks to reach out, he’d move on, and any chance I had with him—assuming I had a snowball’s chance in hell with him to begin with—would be gone.
As I walked back downstairs, I turned my phone over and over in my hand. I had no idea if Devon had any interest in pursuing anything with me, or even hooking up again. For all I knew, Tofino was the end of it. That was that. We were done.
But if there was a chance…
Downstairs, I checked in on the guys, who were putting ontheir gear and steadily filtering out to the rink for practice. No one needed me for anything, so I stepped into my office, ostensibly to put on my skates.
Leaning against the closed door, I took out my phone.
I’m resigning at the end of the season.
You don’t have to do anything with that. It’s happening whether or not there’s any kind of future here. But I wanted you to know.
And I want you know I’m insanely proud of how you played last night. People on high are noticing. You’re on your way to being a star, Devon. You’re doing everyone proud.
I was choked up when I finished that last message. I didn’t even know why. Maybe because the texts felt more like goodbye than an invitation for more. Maybe because I was opening up a vein and letting him know—obliquely, anyway—that I wanted more.
Maybe because I wanted so badly to addI love you.
No. That was too much. And anyway, if I did tell him, I needed totell him. Face-to-face. Something that important couldn’t be contained in a three-word text.
The messages were delivered, but they hadn’t been read yet. Probably just as well, since I needed to lace up my skates and get my ass out on the ice.
Not that I would be a great coach today. I was too distracted. Too raw.
Which meant today would be the perfect day to let Amy take the reins.
