Page 38 of The Duke's Auctioned Spinster
In some ways, she felt as though she had made a fool of herself, and in others, she was glad that she had gotten him to reveal some of his secrets.
But no matter how she felt, at least she knew one thing for certain. This was not going to end in marriage. He planned to leave London. She was going to get what she wanted: a life of independence and liberty. She would never have to see Edmund again after two more promenades.
Only, suddenly, that didn’t seem to be quite as appealing a prospect as it once did.
Chapter Sixteen
“My lady, what happened to you? I thought you were resting!” Jenny said. The maid had been pacing outdoors and rushed to the carriage as soon as Rose appeared. She took Rose’s hands and looked astonished at the state of Rose’s dress.
“I… It’s a long story,” Rose said. “Perhaps you can help me inside and help me out of these clothes.”
Jenny ushered her inside, and they hurried upstairs. Jenny quickly helped Rose undress and then dried her off with a towel, wiping all the damp areas. Rose stood with her arms outstretched, feeling the soft towel wrap around her skin. It wasn’t like Edmund’s arms, and she was annoyed that the thought sliced through her mind like an assassin’s dagger.
“My lady… You were safe, weren’t you?”
“Yes, I was perfectly safe,” Rose said, allowing the frustration to creep into her voice. “If you must know what happened, I merely wanted to test the Duke of Stonewood to make sure he would act as a gentleman if I were unchaperoned.”
“I must say, my lady, that does seem a big risk to take.”
“Perhaps, but it is a good thing that he was indeed a gentleman.”
“That is a relief. I can’t imagine what Lord and Lady Bolton would do if anything untoward happened.”
“Well, nothing like that did happen,” Rose said. “Besides, I should be allowed to make these judgments myself.”
“But what happened to get you into such a state?”
“It was my own fault. I wasn’t taking proper care, and I slipped on the edge of the lake,” Rose said. Jenny finished off with her hair and then helped Rose into a fresh dress. Rose felt much better after being cleansed and changed.
“Lord and Lady Bolton are expecting you for dinner,” Jenny said, with a wary look on her face.
“Please tell them I shall be down presently,” Rose said.
Jenny inclined her head and stepped out of the room. Rose was given a few moments to compose herself, which she felt moreable to do in her own house than in the carriage, still wearing a damp dress.
It didn’t mean that her thoughts were untroubled, though. She was getting weaker around Edmund every time she met him, and she wasn’t entirely sure why. She had always considered herself beyond such things. Whenever she read books about weak-willed women who were prone to falling in love with rogues, not strong enough to brace themselves against their feelings, she always considered herself to be more resilient and had vowed never to fall into the same traps.
Yet here was Edmund with his gentle hands and captivating smile, along with the chaos in her mind that never seemed to settle.
She placed her hand upon her abdomen and breathed slowly, attempting to calm herself before her heart went racing off again like a galloping horse.
There has to be a simpler and more sensible explanation.
She was tempted by the thrill of it. That must have been it. The excitement, the laughter, the way he challenged her. There were no genuine feelings. There couldn’t be because she still didn’t know the man that lay beyond the mask he projected. There was no room for love in her heart, and she was simply getting confused by the exhilaration.
This was a situation she had never been in before, and she was just overwhelmed. It would have been like thrusting herself intosunlight after a bleak winter, or gorging on food after fasting, or throwing herself into a fire after being caught in the snow.
And soon enough, this would be over, and her life would return to normal, and then she could feel settled again.
It had to be this, she convinced herself, because the alternative was that her feelings were genuine and her heart was betraying her resolve and her intentions.
And, if that were the case, then she would have to end the arrangement as per Edmund’s instructions.
She had her rules, and he had his. And if the arrangement ended early, then it might prove more difficult to persuade her parents that she was distraught. She would have to start being more complimentary about Edmund, so her despair seemed true.
Rose eventually descended the stairs for dinner. The mood was tense, and her father gave her a stern look.
“You returned without a chaperone. What is the meaning of this, Rose? Why did you not tell us that you were going out?”
