Page 36 of The Duke's Auctioned Spinster
His tone faded as he referenced the fatal expedition that took his parents from him.
“I am sorry it happened. It was a tragedy.”
“Yes, a tragedy,” he repeated, though a harshness tinged his words, hinting at something deeper. His hands trembled with anger, and he pressed them into the ground, twining blades of grass around his fingers before ripping them up. A shadow crossed his face, and he clenched his jaw. He felt a burning knot inside him, something that ran as deep as his blood.
It terrified him.
Before Rose could ask him anything more about his parents, he pushed himself to his feet and walked away a few paces, backto face the lake. She followed moments later, coming to stand beside him.
“I am curious about something, Edmund,” she said. There was a sinking feeling in his heart as he anticipated another question about his parents or his childhood. The afternoon had actually been pleasant for a change, and now it was all going to be ruined because she couldn’t stop herself from asking about something that was none of her business to know.
However, he found that his assumptions were mistaken.
“Why did you never leave London?”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s just that you have never made a secret of the fact that you disagree with the expectations placed on you. You mock tradition at every turn and seem indifferent to many things. Since you appear to want to enjoy life to the fullest, it strikes me that you would rather be traveling the world like an explorer. While I am sure many men might have such ambitions, you are someone who has the means to turn them into reality. Since you are free from marriage and have the advantage of being a man, why have you not ventured out into the world?”
It was a prescient question, and one that Edmund had asked himself many times over the past few years. He always came back, circling the same answer.
“Because I am not as free as you may think, Rose. I have my sisters and my estate. I cannot leave them, not until they are both married. Charlotte now has Nathaniel, and I am sure it will not be long until Lydia is married, considering she has had her heart set on it since she was a child. Once I can be certain that they have secure lives, then the circumstances of my life can change,” he said in a hoarse voice. It was the first time he had admitted this plan to anyone.
“Then you are going to leave,” Rose said, the hint of surprise in her voice. “Does Lydia know?”
“Nobody knows,” Edmund snapped. “And nobody can know. You’re right. I am tired of London, and I have been waiting for a long time to leave, but I was never going to leave my estate while my sisters depended on me. I have been trapped by responsibility and duty, and so I have had to put my life on hold. I cannot start living until Lydia’s future is secure.”
The words poured out of his mouth in a torrent of emotion, and the force of them took even him by surprise. They certainly took Rose by surprise, for she recoiled back.
“I am sure if Lydia were aware, she would find a suitable man soon enough.”
“No,” Edmund said, cutting Rose’s words off immediately. “She must choose for herself when the time is right. I want her to make the decision because it is right for her, not for anyone else. She deserves that much.”
Edmund breathed heavily. He felt he had revealed too much to Rose and now had to rely on her discretion so that Lydia would not learn of his ambitions. Tension rippled across his body again, so uncomfortable that he had lost sight of the dampness that itched his skin.
Once again, it had been a mistake to come to this quiet place with Rose. He should have left as soon as they emerged from the lake.
This was all getting far too complicated for his liking, and he did not appreciate it. Not one bit.
Chapter Fifteen
Rose was stunned by the revelation. Lydia had never mentioned such a thing, and Rose was starting to believe she knew Edmund better than his own sister, which made her feel guilty.
But there was something else as well, a niggling thought at the back of her mind. It revealed itself slowly, but when it did, she could not resist asking him about it.
“Edmund… Lydia told me that before Charlotte met Nathaniel, she was never going to marry.”
“Yes? What of it? Are you surprised that there is a woman who once thought as you did?” he replied brusquely, but she was not put off by the aggressive tone of his voice.
“No, not at all. It’s just… if you never expected her to marry, does that mean you would have stayed in London forever to ensure that she had a secure life?”
Edmund turned slowly and met her gaze. There was something formidable and terrifying about him in that moment, not because he was threatening, but because there was a sense of power about him, as though he could command the sky to fall like a god.
Breath filled her lungs, and she could feel her heart thumping against her ribs. Her skin tingled, as though all of her nerves were being touched at once. It didn’t help that she had been fighting with her own mind ever since they had fallen in the lake. The way Edmund’s hands nestled around her waist felt far too natural, his breath had tickled her neck, and the way their bodies pressed together, even just for a moment, made the world shift.
And then he took off his jacket. His white shirt clung to his body. The water made it thinner, giving her a good idea of the muscles beneath. Unlike the subject in the painting at the Royal Academy, Edmund had a thick bed of hair that was visible beneath his shirt. A strange, unfamiliar kind of hunger gnawed in the pit of her stomach, though as it pulsed inside her, she thought it ran even deeper than that.
He had a strong neck, powerful arms, and try as she might, she couldn’t prevent her heart from fluttering.
