Page 102 of Eight Weeks
In addition, she could at least answer my goddamn texts. Perhaps that would be enough to stop me from crying like a baby.
“You don’t. Anger is basically sadness in fight-mode.”
“You seemed to prefer anger to sadness.” I raise my eyebrows at her, or one. Maybe I don’t even raise one. I’m not sure how much control of my own facial features I have at this point.
“Yeah, because I was suicidal and needed my feelings to stop in order to keep myself alive. It was exhausting to be angry at everyone and everything.” She gets up from my bed, letting go of my hand as well. “Sadness is a bitch that pulls you under water, expecting you to be able to breathe. Anger just likes to hurt everyone around and yourself. Anger makes you forget whereas sadness lets you feel. I’d rather be sad than feel nothing at all, and so should you.”
Lily makes her way to my door, ready to leave. Only as she reaches the door do her words finally settle in.
Perhaps she’s right.
“Lils?” I call out louder than expected. Her hand halts on the doorknob. She turns around, waiting. “Did you talk to her?”
She nods. “Yesterday.”
“Is she okay?”
“As okay as it gets. She misses you, Aaron. It’s not easy for her either, but I bet you know as much as I do that Sofianeedsto figure out her situation before there could ever be a chance for you two getting a happily ever after.” Lily smiles at me warmly, maybe sympatric even. “You’ve gone thirteen years without talking to Sofia, I think you will survive eight more weeks.”
“Seven.”
“Seven then.”
56
Sofia
“all that time just thrown away”—love, death and distraction by EDEN
“Sofia!”
I can’t help but roll my eyes at her voice. I truly believe my sister has the most annoying voice in the entire universe.
“Did you take your last exam yet?”
“Just this morning.” Not that she cares. Julia is counting down the days until I graduate so I can move out. Though, she is twenty-eight years old, still living at home and wanting to get rid of me? If she’s so sick of me, how aboutshemoves out?
“So, when will you know if you passed?” She leans against my doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t know, Julia. In a few days? Weeks?” I was supposed to leave the U.S. by the end of February, well, I left early. I only needed six weeks in an English-speaking country anyway, so it wasn’t that big of a problem.
Anyway, me leaving early lead to me also taking my final exam earlier than planned. Again, it doesn’t really matter. Germany doesn’t have much of a graduation party. Once you passed, you passed. That’s it. No party, no fancy ceremony.
So I could have waited another month or two to take my exam, but why should I? I was ready to take it, plus I wanted to clear my head a little.
For the past four weeks, I’ve been distracting myself with studying and now that I no longer have something to distract myself with, I think I’m ready to face my father.
I wanted to do so the second I was back here, but I needed a break. Finding out I was hating on myself for murdering my grandpa when it was never my fault in the first place was more than a big pill to swallow. It’s why I needed to leave Aaron for a while as well.
I knew if I stayed for the month still, I would have been nothing but a burden as my emotions were all over the place. I simply couldn’t do that to him, especially not with scouts still coming to his hockey games and him having to study for his finals etcetera. He needed as much of a break from me as I did from him for the time being.
It broke my heart having to leave him, and I admit, I did spend the first week back here in my bedroom, crying my entire heart and soul out, but like I told him, this wasn’t a goodbye.
But now that I am done with figuring out what to say to my father and being done with university, it’s about time I get this shit over with.
“Mom said you’re thinking about moving into the city. Is the tiny villageyouchose not enough for you anymore?” Julia asks, pouting at me mockingly.
“What the hell is your problem, Julia?” I don’t remember one day of her ever having been nice to me. Notone.
