Page 100 of At First Spark
“That you’re not focused.”
I step out of the barn completely now, the open air hitting me harder than it should.
“I’m doing my job.”
“That’s not what he said.”
“That’s his perspective.” And maybe I hate him a little for giving her language she could twist.
But I know Nolan.
He didn’t call her because he wanted her to take over. He called because, somewhere under all that bluntness and bad timing, he got scared.
That doesn’t make it okay. It just makes it messier.
“And yours?”
My grip on the phone tightens because I know she’s not interested in anything but what will get her more money.
“My perspective is that the project is moving forward.”
A pause, longer this time.
“He also mentioned you’re staying somewhere… inappropriate.”
There it is. I should’ve expected it.
“It’s temporary housing.”
“With a man.”
The way she says it, I can imagine her lips twisting as if she’s sucked on something sour.
I let out a short breath.
“I don’t particularly care how it looks.”
“You should.”
“I don’t.”
Something in me has shifted. I’m not willing to let this be framed the way she wants.
“You said you are there to prove something. Instead, you’re just proving that you can’t make any good decisions,” she says.
Something hollow opens beneath my ribs. “You always do this,” she says. “You get close to something, and then you let it derail you.”
Something in me snaps.
“I am not derailing anything.”
“You are if you let yourself get distracted.”
I start walking again without thinking, needing movement, needing something to keep me from standing still under the weight of it.
“I’m not discussing this,” I say.
“Don’t make a mistake you can’t undo.”
