She sighed. “YaYa?—”
“Please,” I cut in, sharper than I meant to be. Then I softened it, because she deserved that much. “I’m behind on schoolwork, and I need to focus.”
Her lips pressed together, but she nodded. Chanel always did. She trusted me in a way that was both comforting and terrifying.
“Okay,” she said.
She went back to her book.
I stood there a moment longer, watching her breathe, letting the weight of it settle into me.
This was the part nobody ever saw.
The reason behind the decisions. The calculus behind the control.
I didn’t want Channy anywhere near what I was building.
Which meant I had to be far enough away to stop her from touching any part of this life Zayden and I were building.
Later, in my room, I spread my notes across the bed and ran through them again. The campus maps, routes, schedules, and risk assessments. Zayden’s face flickered through my mind. His bright smile that I never seen before. I spent years watching him from afar, and I never knew his smile was bright enough to light up a room. I thought of his chiseled body and imagined what it would be like on top of mine. I thought of how turned on he looked when I pulled my gun on him in the library.
Respect looked different on men like him.
My AIM messenger buzzed on my Sidekick.
KingZay111:
You serious about this pink gangsta?
I smiled, impressed that he managed to get my AIM profile.
HotGirlYaYa:
About systems? Always.
KingZay111:
Meet Me Tomorrow in Crestwood at the Deli.
I stared at the screen for a moment, then typed.
HotGirlYaYa:
Bring Your Ideas. We’re talking strategy.
KingZay111:
You’re bossy.
HotGirlYaYa:
You’ll live.
I set the phone face down and leaned back against the headboard, exhaling slowly.
Engineer by day. Queen in waiting by night.
The line between them was thinner than people thought.