Page 44 of Mercedees: Forever An Atkins
When I decided to cause Arion hell, it was for two reasons. One being he was my competition. How dare you come into my city and think you gon’ set up shop so easily. Being a nail technician wasn’t for the weak, either. If you didn’t have the skill, it could make or break your career. I perfected my craft and developed three shops off of it. Husband or not, he wasn’t ‘bout to outdo me.
Second reason being, he embarrassed me in front of all of them people in that shop. He could’ve pulled me outside and asked for some respect, not that I was gon’ give it, but still. He made me feel so small in that shop as if I wasn’t an Atkins that ran this city. I didn’t give a fuck ‘bout who he was or what kind of power he had. I knew what my family name could do and that was all that mattered.
Banging on the cell door, I shouted, “Can I get my phone call please? You can’t strip me of that!”
I’d been in here for a full day and not one time did those stupid muthafuckas offer me a call. I would’ve been out of here by now if they had. A few seconds passed before I was banging again. I felt unseen and average as fuck. This was the ghettoest shit I ever dealt with. The hell a bad bitch like me look like being in a pissy ass cell. I was over it.
“Atkins, get off the door!” they threw back.
“Not until you give me my fuckin’ phone call!” I was livid.
As the only girl in the family, I was held to a different standard from my cousins. No one realized how much pressure was on my shoulders. I had to be so perfect and untainted that the whole reason I started taking trips to Vegas was to get away from it. I couldn’t do what I truly wanted to the way they could. I took some time to myself and had a lil’ fun, once they found out, the judgment came.
Being the only girl also gave me a mentality that couldn’t grow weak. Ever since I was young, I was pretty much trained to go. Whenever I was needed, it was either go hard or go home. All that toughness took me out of ever becoming a girl that could just be a girl.
I started selling drugs at an early age, running the streets with Royce and Striker. The only one out the crew that could just sit and still get the same treatment was Heidi. I loved her like a cousin so there was no secret animosity, but I was envious that she was able to live a soft life, and I couldn’t.
When Arion pitched that life to me, I couldn’t deny how good it sounded. Telling me that all I had to do was fulfill my wifely duties intrigued me. Heidi, Klarity, and Cheyonne all had one thing to do when it came to my cousins and that was love being there. It was funny because all of them pretty much ended up in their marriage the same way. I loved that they were inunconditional unions though, even Serinity found her someone. We hadn’t met him but that ring on her finger was blinding. Each one of them deserved it.
Accepting Arion meant accepting everything that came with him. Bentley saying he wasthat niggadid nothing for me. In my eyes, so were my cousins. However, I could tell he was cut from a different cloth. Ryce walked around with one nigga watching his back, this man had a plethora. I was genuinely wondering if he had what it took to sit me down and finally allow me to live that life I see others live.
The locks on the steel door turned, and I took a step back waiting to see what was up. One of the female officers stepped in looking me up and down. Shaking her head, she said, “I owe a favor to yo’ mama. Thank her when you call her.” Handing over her cell phone, she stepped back out.
With that, I used the opportunity to call my mother. Shit, if this was a favor being cashed in on her behalf then dammit, I was calling her and her only. Was she going to tell my father about this? Hell yeah, but I really didn’t give a fuck. I just wanted to be out this muthafucka.
I dialed her number at the speed of lightning hoping she answered before the phone could even ring. Luck was on my side because she picked up within seconds.
“Hey Mary, I can’t talk right now. I’m ‘bout to do my rounds before I get off. Let me call you back in ten.”
“Mama, Mama please don’t hang up. It’s me, Cedees,” I spoke before she could hang up.
“Cedees?” The line went quiet, and I didn’t dare speak up. I felt like a child getting ready to be scolded. “Mercedees Atkins what the hell are you doing in jail?” she questioned. From the low stern tone she held, I just knew her lips were balled up and tight.
Sighing deeply, a tear fell as I felt the regret surface. I fucked up, but I was going off emotions. I didn’t like being embarrassed. “Mama, come get me,” I whined.
I heard a lot of shuffling going on before it was quiet on her end. From that alone I knew she was getting somewhere secluded to cuss me clean out. I waited nervously until she was ready to talk.
“You are thirty-five years old and still don’t know when to sit yo’ ass down somewhere. What the hell did you do, Cedees?”
“That don’t matter Mama, just come get me. I want to go home,” I cried.
“You know the only person that can get you out is yo’ father. I have to call Ryan, Cedees. I have to.”
I knew what the result would be, and I truly didn’t care. It was what it was. I did something impulsive and now I was reaping the consequences. My mama could tell me all this shit on the other side of the cell, just send somebody to come get me the hell up out of here.
“I know, and I’m not trippin’. How long will it be?” I questioned impatiently.
“Cedees don’t start worrying me. Give it some time, he’ll be there. Give Mary back the phone so I can put something in her ear.”
“Yes ma’am. Thank you, Mama.”
“Oh, don’t thank me yet. Bye child,” she said ending our conversation.
I did a light tap on the door and Mary stuck her head through. “She wants to holla at you for a minute,” I said sounding like a child for real.
My cell door was closed and locked back up. My mama ain’t never failed me in any aspects of my life, I didn’t expect her to drop the ball now. I didn’t have to shoot that nigga shit up, but he played with me, so what other choice did I have. Telling mymama that would make her infuriated with me. She hated when I acted like anything but a lady. What did she expect when I was raised by a pack of wolves that showed no remorse? That wildlife was in me, not on me.
I was anxious to get out. So anxious that I didn’t realize how long it had been between them and now until I was told it was dinner time. I’d spoke to my mother earlier in the day around breakfast and that was the last time I heard anyone’s voice other than my own. No one came to say two words to me, and I was low key hurt by that.
