Page 107 of Thirst
“Hey, I admit I had my head up my ass. If I could do it over again, I would.”
I took a deep breath. Time to lay it all on the line.
“That night on the way to the bar? I was starting to think you could be my mate, if that was why I couldn’t seem to let you go. And while I was still wrapping my mind around that, I find out you’d come to the meeting yourself—to negotiate with my uncle to kidnap me.” I grimaced. “All I could think was you’d been lying to me the whole time. That when it came down to it, you’d choose Nazaire over me. Every fucking time.”
“Like you chose your syndicate over me?” It wasn’t an accusation. It was a soft, wounded acknowledgment that somehow cut deeper.
I spread my hands. “They’re all I have. My family.”
“Yeah.” A sad smile ghosted across her lips. “You’d do anything for them, wouldn’t you? They’re lucky. And you should—I don’t even blame you for it.”
And then suddenly, I was feeling her emotions again, like a river flowing from her to me.
Hurt, yes, and some leftover anger. But underneath was something raw, something that hadn’t given up on us yet.
Maybe I could still save this?
I dropped to my knees on the terra cotta tiles before her. She pulled back, eyes wide, mouth ajar.
Guilt tore through me at her obvious surprise. She’d clearly never expected this from me.
I reached for her hands. She let me take them, her gaze glued to my face.
“Before you, I was hunting for a pureblood mate. To strengthen the syndicate. And,” I admitted, “to boost me. I guess I was still trying to prove I’m not the island loser.” I swallowed something prickly. “That I didn’t make lieutenant just because I’m Brien’s friend.”
Another rush of emotion, empathy and something steadier—velvet over steel. “Oh, Cain.” Her voice softened. “You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. It’s obvious that people respect you.” A corner of her mouth ticked up. “They’re even a little afraid of you.”
“I know. I even believe it—most of me. But there’s a part of me that never feels good enough.” I dropped my gaze to our hands.
First time I’d ever said it out loud—even Talon had never heard it—and it felt like stripping to the skin in the middle of a syndicate ball. Exposed. Naked. Vulnerable.
“Hey,” she said. “You started as a soldier, right?” At my nod, she continued, “And you rose through the ranks until now you’re a lieutenant, a powerful one. I bet you worked twice as hard as anyone else to get where you are.”
“Everyone but Talon,” I said automatically. “He worked his ass off, too.”
“There you go. Sure, Brien’s your friend, but he wouldn’t have promoted you unless he thought you could hold off challengers. So of course you’re good enough. In fact, you’re fucking impressive.”
I huffed a laugh. “Fine. I’m impressive.”
She didn’t smile back. “You are. I knew it the moment I met you. You think you’re proving yourself, but don’t you see? You already have. That’s why Brien chose you. That’s why Talon respects you. The only one left to convince is you.”
My chest pulled tight, lungs dragging in air like I’d been underwater too long. And then it spilled out—the truth I’d been choking back. “I didn’t know what to do with you. You asked things from me, just by being you. I couldn’t let myself trust you. Couldn’t let myself trust us.”
Her voice was a thread of sound. “And now?”
My gaze roamed over her beautiful face. A face I’d never get tired of seeing. A mouth I’d never get tired of kissing.
She’d turned down my offer of sanctuary. I’d known even then she wanted more from me, something I hadn’t known how to give her. So I’d hidden behind duty to Brien and the syndicate. But that was a coward’s excuse, an obligation Brien had never laid on me.
Enough hiding. Time to stand bare and admit I wanted the same thing.
“Now,” I said, low and certain, “I want it all. Everything.”
She shook her head—but it didn’t feel like a no. More like I’d knocked her off balance and she had to find her footing again.
I soldiered on. “Nyx Nazaire, will you accept my mate bond? I’ll fight for you. Stand with you. Believe in you. Just—be yours. If you’ll have me.”
Her throat worked. Her eyes held mine, peeling back every layer until all that was left was the man beneath the vampire—the needy, unlovable kid I thought I’d buried six feet deep.
