Page 77 of Wicked Dares
A poster of the hot anime guy Alexis has loved since she was sixteen.
I’m in Alexis’s guest bedroom.
At her apartment.
I’m not back in that place. And I’m not in a coffin.
Reece isn’t here.
I’msafe.
That was just a nightmare. Or rather fragments of very, very, dark memories.
Jesus.
I haven’t had a nightmare that bad in… more than a year.
After the disaster with Reece, I had nightmares every single night. I suppose I should be lucky that’s all I had.
That bastard kidnapped me and tried to kill me. You don’t make it back from shit like that without consequences.
What followed in the wake of our ugly relationship was two years’ worth of therapy for serious anxiety, PTSD, and losing the will to go on.
Me—the girl who always excelled at everything—was suddenly too broken to function. It felt like my wings had been clipped.
It took serious work from all sorts of professionals to get me to where I am today. Counselling helped rid me of the nightmares the most.
But they never fully went away.
Every so often like just now, one sneaks up on me. Like I need the reminder that those dark memories will always be a part of me.
I dream like that mostly when I’m stressed.
After last night’s encounter with Levi, I guess I’m stressed out for different reasons.
Levi is the first man who’s made me feel something real since Reece.
He makes me feel things I’m not ready for.
I felt so bad when I left him. I felt like I’d strung him along, when I didn’t. There was no part of me that didn’t want to be with him. No part. I just… froze up.
And of course, I know why.
The monster from my dream is still taunting me. That bastard Reece is still screwing with me even from behind bars. He’s far, far away but still in my head.
That part’s probably not his fault.
It’s mine.
I need to let go. It’s just that it’s not easy.
A sheen of sweat clings to my skin and I’m shaking.
Great. This isn’t how I wanted to start today.
I’m viewing office buildings later, and Alexis is coming with me. I’m supposed to be excited. Not a mess.
I stay there for a moment with my hand pressed to my temple, breathing deeply.
