Page 2 of The Write Track
I’d planned a trip to Salem to spend the night with my mother. She had a new tour routine she wanted to try out onme, and truth be told, I needed a break from Preston. He was in a particularly bad mood, to the point where we hadn’t had sex in almost a month. He blamed the dry spell on work pressure. Since he was terrible in bed, something I’d tried to address with careful lessons he ignored, I wasn’t all that disappointed. He jumped at the idea of me visiting my mother.
So I made the drive to Salem, watched my mother’s routine, then begged off when she suggested a night of dancing under the full moon. Those nights always devolved into nudity—she and her witchy friends were big fans of nudity—so I made my polite excuses, turned around, and headed home.
The moment I walked into the apartment I shared with Preston, I knew something was off. I heard grunts—the sort of grunts you only hear when somebody is either having sex or watching porn—so I stepped lightly when making my way to our bedroom. Was Preston watching porn? That seemed unlikely, but if he was, maybe that proved he was ready to loosen up in the bedroom.
Frankly, I was desperate for that.
It wasn’t porn.
I stood in the bedroom doorway, watching with dumbfounded disbelief as he railed one of the other secretaries from his father’s office. She was a buxom blonde with the brain capacity of a turnip.
Tiffany.
I didn’t say anything then. I was filled with too much rage. Instead, I turned on my heel and grabbed the few things of value I cared about from the apartment. Most of my stuff, including the clothes I was afraid he would dump if he got it into his head to go crazy one day, were at my mother’s house anyway.
On my way out, I put all of his spoons into the garbage disposal. I didn’t turn it on. I left that for him. I walked out of his apartment, and life, and suddenly felt freer than I had in years. Iwent straight to my mother’s apartment, and she and her friends decided it was time to put a hex on Preston.
I didn’t stop them.
It took him three days to realize I hadn’t come home.Three freaking days. I had no idea how he’d explained the spoons. When he asked why I wasn’t coming home, I told him I was home. Then I proceeded to explain what I’d seen when returning to his apartment.
That apartment had never been mine. I realized that after the fact. It had always been his.
Did Preston apologize? Did he say it had been a lapse in judgement? No. He blamed it on me, like all champion gaslighters. He said he loved me but needed a little thrill in the bedroom. He figured it was something I would overlook. I was with Preston Martin Charles III, after all.
I told him goodbye. Okay, my language was much more colorful. Cutting him loose wasn’t nearly as hard as I’d thought it would be, though. Then I spent the next few weeks debating what I wanted to do.
It had come to me fairly easily.
“I need to be on my own for a little bit, Mom,” I explained. I wasn’t being unkind to her. This was just something that had to be done. “I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.”
Her answer came quickly. “Be a writer. You always wanted to be a writer.”
That was true. “Maybe.”
“You can do that here.” She grabbed my hand. “There’s no better inspiration than Salem.”
She wasn’t wrong. I really did need distance, though. “You have your friends, and I need to find something for myself. I promise to call.”
“But I just got you back.” She was desperate.
“You’ll never lose me again, Mom.” I meant it. “I just need to figure a few things out. Then I’ll be back.”
“Do you promise?”
I hesitated. Could I promise that? “I promise I’ll keep in touch,” I said finally. “I’ll figure out where I want to be, who I want to be, and then we’ll make it work. I’ll be back for visits at least.”
She managed a smile. “He was never worth your time. You know that, don’t you? You’re not the one who was unworthy.”
I did know that. “I still lost myself. I need to find myself again. I don’t know what that will look like, but I’m excited to figure it all out.”
She sighed and nodded. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
“I know. You’ve always been here. Finding you was never the problem.”
I left her standing there, watching me drive away. I had no job and no idea who I was. He’d stolen that from me.
I would find answers though. No matter what.
