Page 81 of The Write Track
“What else?”
“Do you come with add-ons or something?”
She blew out a breath then giggled, relaxing against me. This was what I wanted. Just this. If we had enough food, we could stay in this bed for the rest of our lives, and I would be perfectly happy.
“I just mean… you don’t do girlfriends.” She seemed to be thinking hard. “You told me that from the beginning. I can’t do just hookups, though. I’m just not built that way.”
“Bella, no.” I vehemently shook my head before she could lose herself in a spiral. “You’re right that Ididn’tdo girlfriends. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that myself. The reason is because I didn’t feelthis.” I gestured between us.
“You’re saying I’m different?” There was a leeriness in her eyes that I didn’t like. I had no doubt that Preston had said similar things to her, and those had turned out to be lies. I had to be careful here.
“I’m saying I wasn’t expecting this to happen, and it’s new to me.” I searched for the right words. “I want to be with you. I’m not sure I’m going to be good at this, though. I’m an idiot sometimes, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed.” She laughed at my frown then sighed. “Have you ever had a real girlfriend?”
“Maybe in high school.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t count.” She shook her head. “Why do you suddenly think you want a girlfriend?” She was approaching it like a scientific experiment.
“I didn’t wake up one morning wanting a girlfriend,” I replied. “I woke up wanting you.”
She looked taken aback. “What if it’s just lust, and now that you’ve had me, you won’t want me any longer?”
She needed reassurance. Preston had yanked the rug out from under her multiple times. I would not do that to her. The problem was that I couldn’t promise forever when we were barely into it either.
“I’ve already tasted the forbidden fruit, and I can tell you, unequivocally, that I still want you.”
“Will that be true in two weeks?”
I had a sneaking suspicion that it would be true forever, but now was not the time to dropthatbomb on her.
“Bella, you’re consuming me. That has never happened before. I don’t know what I can promise for the future though. It’s too soon.”
“Of course it’s too soon.” She was rueful. “It’s way too soon. If you’d promised me the future, I would have been convinced you were a psychopath.”
It was good to know that my instincts were still intact. Her matter-of-fact response made me laugh, though. “Good to know.”
“I just… we’re both messed up.” She was earnest as she stared into my eyes. “You and I, we both have issues. You’re allergic to commitment?—”
“Or I just never met the right person to commit to.”
“That was a lot of misses. I’ve read the message board stories about you.”
“Yeah, where are these message board stories? I’m calling slander.”
“Not slander.” She shook her head and gave me a severe look. “It’s a private section of an author message board that’s only for women. You know, in case there’s a predator author that anybody has to worry about. That way the info is out there but not in a way that can get anybody sued.”
I hated—absolutely loathed—that women needed to have spaces like what she was describing. What I hated even more was that I was a topic of discussion in one of those spaces. “What did they say about me?” I was resigned to my fate.
“Honestly? People said you were a good guy with a charm streak a mile wide. They said you weren’t going to do a relationship for anything but you were upfront about it and respectful. They just suggested that anybody with attachment issues steer clear of you. The stuff they wrote about you was nothing compared to what they wrote about…”
“Who?” I demanded.
She looked conflicted. “Um…”
“Who?” I repeated.
She blew out a sigh. “RG James.”
