Page 32 of Deviant
He studies me for a second too long and tension coils in my muscles as I wait for his bullshit excuses to come. “Is that the worst thing I could do?”
I let out a short laugh. “Make carbon copies? Well…No. No, I guess not…But the thing about boxes is…People spend their whole life climbing into them, then wonder why it feels so small.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“I’m not talking about you specifically.” I take a drag. “Just in general.”
“Look at how big my family is. Why wouldn’t I want that? To build a house like my grandfather, where I get to see my own grandkids run around. I want the love that he and my dad found—the wife, the house, the kids…Everything I’m supposed to.”
“You know you don’t always have to have things because you think you’re supposed to, Rhett. People are allowed to be different, and be loved for being different.”
“I’m not different, Colt,” he replies.
My heart beats wildly in my chest as I shake my head. “You say that like being anything other than this fantasy you built up in your head is wrong, but it’s not.” I hold my hands up to stop him from thinking I’m trying to fight. “You’ll never find happiness in a fucking box, Rhett.”
“Maybe I like my box.”
“Maybe that particular box isn’t big enough for both of us.” With that, I look at him again—really look at him—and when I do, I don’t see any judgement.
“It isn’t meant to fit you. You don’t have to want the same things as me, Colt,” he continues, pointing to the same plot of land from earlier. “You see that place? It’s mine. Been mine since the day I was born, and I will make them proud of me.”
And there it is. Rhett Thornwood, dreaming of living in some dollhouse. Putting up walls so tall he can’t see what’s on the other side.
Make them proud?
He really believes that making his family proud means he’ll never be satisfied…
How could someone want to live like that?
Cash finally pulls up on his bike, ending the agonizing few minutes where I didn’t have a response to Rhett’s statement. He takes off his helmet and looks up at us from our bike. “What the hell are you guys doing up there?” he asks.
Rhett stands up and starts to make his way down, ignoring his brother. I scratch the back of my head. “I was just admiring the view.”
“Sorry I was late. I had to drop someone off.”
“Do you always have to get your dick wet?”
Cash laughs as Rhett and I make our way down to him.
“You going to that party tonight, Rhett?” Cash asks.
Rhett shakes his head. “No. Molly already asked. I’m going to go crash after today.”
Cash sighs. “I wish you had someone you actually enjoyed life with, bro. You know she just isn’t it for you. It’s okay to admit it.”
Fuck yeah, Cash. Tell him how he deserves better. How he deservesme.
Rhett starts to walk off. “I’m perfectly content, Cash. And you aren’t exactly the one that should be talking to me about findingsomeone to settle down with. You haven’t had a girlfriend longer than two weeks.”
Cash shrugs. “I know what I’m looking for, and it isn’t in Cedarbrook. Doesn’t mean I can’t have fun.” Cash looks over at me. “You ready?”
I nod and walk back over to my bike, hopping onto it. I grab my helmet and put it on before connecting our Bluetooth. “So, where the fuck are we going?”
“You’ll see.” Then Cash mutters something under his breath that I can’t make out before putting his bike in gear and tearing out of the driveway.
I follow behind him, down their long dirt driveway and onto the main road that leads back into town. I’m so happy I brought my bike down from college and that I’m actually able to ride it with Cash.
The live wire under my skin finally eases as the wind whips against my helmet.
