Page 25 of The Lustrous Dark
“If it were up to the Naturalists?” He speaks carefully, as if the words are tipped with burrs. “I don't think even they are in agreement. They'd probably have to take the matter to their council for a vote.”
“They have a council?”
He waves his hand in uncertainty. “I would assume.”
“Shadi, please be honest,” Shay says, trying not to sound like she's desperate for someone, anyone to be honest with her. “How do you know so much about the Naturalists if you aren't one?”
He gives her a look that feels as though he's trulyseeingher. Shay isn't sure what that even means, just that it's not unwelcome. “I went to one of their meetings,” he breaks eye contact, glancing off to the side when he speaks. His throat flexes. “I hung in the back and observed. I figured I needed to learn as much as I could about them. Know thine adversary and all that. For my sisters’ sakes.”
Shay frowns.He's lying!Or at the very least, there's something he's not telling her. And, at this moment, she's irrationally thankful that she can tell. That's comforting. In some strange way, it makes her trust him. Since she can'tdiscern when or if Ghita or Hind are telling the truth, it feels good to at least know where she stands with Shadi.
Her standards have hit rock bottom.
“Shadi?”
He gazes at her with the same intensity as before. Not just seeing her, she realizes now, but a look that says he wants toknowher. “Yes?”
She's not sure what she wants to ask until the words spill from her lips. “What would you do if you had to choose between someone related to you by blood or someone with whom you shared a history?”
“That's tough.” He sighs in understanding and nods as if it were a yes or no question. “But you don't have to be related to someone to develop a bond that's as strong, if not stronger than, blood. It's all about how well you know them.”
Shay's not sure that's the answer she wanted to hear. But maybe it's the one she needed to. Before she can thank him, he continues: “Then again, there is something to be said for familial loyalty. Like, your family will always be your family, right?”
Shay's shoulders slump. She shouldn't have asked.
“That's not very helpful, is it?” Shadi smiles apologetically. “I guess the more important question is, why do you have to choose? Why can't you maintain ties with both?”
His words have an unexpectedly soothing effect. She's still not sure who to believe or what course of action to take, but she feels like the answer is within reach. Like maybe if she rests on it, it will come to her. “Thanks, Shadi.”
He stands, perhaps picking up on her weariness, and dusts off the back of his gandoura before offering his hand and helping her to her feet.
“And thank you again, for the moon pepper,” she adds.
“Of course.” He gives her a serious look, and the world below suddenly feels much farther away, as if the rooftop, the two of them, have been cut off from all that exists. “You know your secret is safe with me.”
She can't explain why she believes him, but she does. “Likewise.”
He turns around at the head of the stairwell and gives her an awkward wave. “Until we see each other again, God willing.”
Shay starts to frown but quickly hides it behind a smile. She hasn't told him she may be leaving and doesn't wish to bring it up now, so she waves in return. “God willing.”
He starts to leave again but turns around once more. “Just to be clear, I think you deserve to have people in your life whochoose you, instead of making you choose.”
Shay's cheeks warm, and she's not sure why. Most likely, he means that's what people in general deserve, not her specifically. After all, he doesn't know her well enough to make such an assertion. She thinks back to what Hind said about love at first sight, but Shay has never had time for romance before, and she certainly doesn't have time for itnow.
“Yeah, I mean, there's only one me, right?” she asks, trying to cover her embarrassment. No—discomfort. Self-consciousness? Whatever one would call this irritating andfuzzyand inconvenient feeling.
“Exactly,” he says, as though that were the message he intended to convey all along.
9
Sleep, little baby,
Until dinner is cooked,
And if it isn't, the neighbor's will be.
Sleep, little baby,
