Page 45 of Stops Along the Way
I fidget with my fingers beneath the bubbling water. I should call it a night, drag myself out of this hot tub, back into the cold air, wrap myself in a scratchy towel, and chase my sister back to the hotel room, where I’ll stand dripping chlorine on the laminate flooring while she takes her sweet time to yield the shower. Then we can find something to put on the TV that doesn’t matter because we’ll really spend the evening scrolling through our phones before finally falling asleep to get enough rest for another entire day on the road tomorrow.
That sounds nice and relaxing and the total opposite of the racing emotions I’m feeling right now.
I glance up from the water, almost shocked to discover I’m actually still sitting here next to Declan, and he gives a small smile that makes it impossible for me to leave. It’d be incredible to know what he’s thinking right now or if he can sense that I’m acting different around him.
He reaches a hand across his chest to scratch his shoulder. “One more long day on the road until we’re back home.”
I pull my knees up and rest my feet along the edge of the bench seat, sitting against the wall and tilting my chin as I ask, “Where would you have stayed tonight? If not at the hotel?”
Declan narrows his eyes and hunches forward as if sharing a secret. “We’ve got a tent in the trunk.”
“So anywhere, then?”
“I bookmarked a few campgrounds that we pass.”
I can’t help but continue to tease him. “Don’t you need reservations for those too?”
“Sometimes. Not always. If it’s peak season, or a really busy spot, but I saw on the map there were always a few lodges near those places too.”
“I guess you did have some general idea.”
“Of course.” He smiles. “But this is fine too.”
“It’s fine,” I agree. “I got to say, though, there’s no harm adding some certainty to life. To know there’s a place waiting for you.”
I look away, skimming my hand along the surface of the water, gathering the remnants of the bubbles in front of me as the timer runs out. This is a great sign to leave, to say good night and go to sleep, but Declan briefly hops out of the water to turn it back on. I lean back against the wall and sigh.
He doesn’t return next to me, however. He stays in the middle, crouched beneath the water, waving his arms around to keep upright as he sways on his heels, avoiding looking up at me.
Then he says something I only partly hear. I tilt my head, and Declan repeats, “Strange to think we’ll be back in this state for college soon.”
“Strange,” I echo, pretending the thought hadn’t crossed my mind the second we drove across the Ohio-Indiana border, knowing that the next time I’m here, I’ll be approaching from the opposite direction, except with a car full of all my things and my own campus ahead of me.
He steps closer, with most of his body still beneath the surface, approaching me at eye level. “There is actually something I’ve been thinking about saying to you.”
My heart races. “Yeah?”
“And I already know how you’re going to respond, so this is just a thought I need to get out of my head, and I don’t really want to, because it’ll probably make things weird, but it’s also, like, maybe I should tell you.” He pauses, staring off at the wall, refusing to look at me. “You know what? Forget I said anything.”
I cross my arms tight, trying to steady myself from how nervous this is making me. “You used a lot of words but haven’t actually said much of anything yet, and now you kind of have to…”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, just tell me, generally, what it’s about?”
Declan shakes his head. “That would basically be telling you.”
“Then tell me.” I shrug. “Because otherwise you’re really letting my imagination run wild here.”
“I don’t think I can. Because what if it’s not a good time and what if…” He trails off.
My eyebrows scrunch down, and I give him a stern gaze. “Then why did you say you had to tell me something? I feel like we keep getting stuck in standoffs.”
He lets out a nervous chuckle. “Checkmate.”
“Nope,” I say, shaking my head and bringing back levity to my tone. “You’re going to tell me, and it’ll be fine, I promise.”
“You promise?”
