Page 64 of Stops Along the Way
To be fair, no one knows except me.
I’ll tell my parents, obviously, soon enough. We’ll get the eye exams booked and everything that comes with that, and the diagnosis I feared was on the horizon will officially be here. Yet for now I’m going to keep this to myself. To sit with it since there’s no immediate urgency. To figure out how I want this all to unfold.
When thinking about the possibility of this diagnosis, I’d usually waver between catastrophizing and considering that nothing would be any different. The reality turns out to be somewhere in the middle. Like a new pair of shoes that takes a while to get comfortable but I eventually wear every day without a second thought.
I’m just not there yet.
It’s still fresh.
I wake up each morning unsure if I feel any different, but honestly, I haven’t had time to figure out how I feel yet. What’s the next step in life once the scary thing you worried would happen actually plays out?
Now here stands Declan—adorably wide-eyed and hopeful, seemingly eager to rekindle what we started on the roadtrip—and a big part of me wishes I could say yes when he asks, “Iris, do you think we could get together sometime?”
Hasn’t this been lurking in the back of my mind this entire time? Haven’t I been desperate to hear him ask me exactly this? Isn’t my heart doing somersaults at the prospect of us being together again?
I stand on my tiptoes and plant a soft goodbye kiss on his cheek. “Now really isn’t a good time.”
Chapter Twenty
One Week Before Starting College
I don’t go to any Rivalry nights at Roll Again all summer. Partly because I’m avoiding Declan, partly because Amelia and I have started playing the new online version as a way to keep in touch while she’s in Europe. It’s a lot easier for her to zoom in on the cards on the brightly lit computer screen, which makes a world of difference in how quickly we’re able to play through a game.
I’ve also been busy with doctors’ appointments, time with Peyton and Elizabeth, and a weeklong orientation session to get ready for my first college semester this fall. Admittedly, I was wondering if I’d run into Declan while on campus, but apparently, the same coincidence isn’t likely to happen twice.
Except right now I’m on my way to see him, since the Stops Along the Way demo edition has finished production. We’ve been on the same email chain all summer, respectfully takingturns to answer the publisher’s questions and signing off on various decisions, but now that it’s a real, polished game, we’re getting the chance to play it.
Together.
For the first time.
I get to the publisher’s office first and make small talk with the staff while waiting for Declan to show up. For a brief moment, I worry he won’t.
But he does.
He’s wearing the green hoodie today. Back to the same Declan I’ve always known. I would love nothing more than to have him wrap his arms around me in a big hug hello, letting everyone in this room know that we’re something to each other, even if we don’t know exactly what.
He stops short of approaching me. “Hey, Iris.” Hearing him say my name is enough to resurrect plenty of longing and hurt.
“Hi, Dex,” I say, his nickname feeling awkward and wrong coming out of my mouth, more like it’s creating a layer of distance between us rather than familiarity, and he squints with uncertainty at my use of it.
We chat with the staff and other winners until we’re led to our game table, a small one in the corner where we aren’t able to sit opposite but have to cozy up next to each other.
Declan runs a hand back through his hair. It’s grown longer in a way that suits him. I doubt he’s gotten a cut all summer. “Hey again,” he says when it’s just the two of us.
“Hey.” I smile, though it continues to break my heart a little seeing him, especially sitting this close.
He bites his lip. “I was sort of hoping I’d run into you at orientation.”
“Ah, I went to the last July one.”
He nods, understanding. “I went the first week of August.”
“Guess we just missed each other, then.”
“Ships in the night,” Declan says.
We stare down at the board game box, no longer a mess of glued cardboard, but a real, polished, and professional game. The artist the publisher hired did an amazing job designing a travel map for the cover, complete with aliens peeking in from opposite ends of the box.
