Page 75 of On the Bright Side
I laugh, relieving the tension. I’m glad she understands I need acknowledgment, not apologies. “Yeah.” I gesture playing a little sympathy violin for myself. “It sure does.”
“Did your doctor explain this all to you?”
“Kind of. I need to go to another appointment soon. He basically told me to google it.”
“Seriously?”
“There’s just a lot to cover, I guess. But there’s also this MS Society thing.” I’m not sure what else to say. I’ve pretty much put it all out on the table. “But, yeah, so that’s what’s been going on.”
With a deep breath, she takes it all in, nodding several times. “Are you going to come back to school soon?”
“This semester is a wash. I’m just going to have to start back up in January.”
“That makes sense.” Staring down at her food, she adds, “I’ll miss you.”
We finish our meals and, after spending an hour at Starlight, climb back into the car. It’s dark outside. My fingers are frozen, so I rub myhands together, waiting for the heat to warm us up. But I’m not ready to go home yet. Neither is she.
Ellie reaches over to touch my arm. “I’m glad you’re okay, all things considered. You’d been gone so long I was beginning to worry you might never come back.”
I take hold of her hand and, this time, don’t let go. It feels right—the two of us here together. Comfortable, as if no time has passed and no drama has gotten in the way. Absently playing with her fingers, I ask, “Have you still been eating near the teachers’ lounge?”
“All by myself. They must think I’ve scared you away.”
She needs me to reassure her that she hasn’t. Honestly, the football incident hasn’t been at the top of my mind. With everything that’s been going on, it feels kind of silly. I like her, and she likes me. We don’t need to play these games anymore. Her wide eyes are watching my every move.
“Nah, I don’t think you’re that scary,” I say teasingly. “Anymore.”
She laughs and I smile, maybe a little wider than I intended, not exactly playing it cool. This whole diagnosis journey has been rough on my self-esteem. I know I’m different now than I was a few weeks ago. But despite that, Ellie is still here.
“Well, since you’ve been gone, I’ve needed your advice on all sorts of things,” she says. “It’s too late for the whole moving-out situation, but you can still help me pick a good spot for my tattoo.”
“Oh, you’re full of surprises today. Getting a tattoo now?”
“Don’t tell me you dislike them.” She gives a playful, challenging look. “I’ve been thinking I should save up to get one to commemorate all the big changes this year.”
“It depends. What are you thinking of getting?”
“Obviously the Amber High Hornet, like, right on my cheek.”
I burst out laughing. “Sure, you go first, and I’ll get a matching one.”
“Okay, but actually, something for Deaf pride. Like a colorful ASL I-love-you hand,” she says, holding up the iconic sign with her two fingers folded in toward her palm. Then she brushes her hair back, resting her fingers at a spot behind her ear. “Somewhere like here.”
I lean forward, even though there isn’t anything to see yet, and am immediately taken in by how her hair smells fresh, like coconut. “That would look nice there,” I say as she turns to watch my lips, so close our noses almost touch.
Another vehicle parks beside us in the parking lot, and the guys stare into our car before they walk into the Starlight Chili. This isn’t the best place to hang out, and Ellie might have somewhere else we could go.
“Um, so your new place show,” I say, my brain forming the sentence out of order. I start again. “Can I see your new place?”
Ellie nods eagerly. “Yes, let’s go.”
Suppressing a chili burp that would ruin the mood, I help myself to the pack of mints in her cup holder. Ellie holds out a hand to request one for herself.So this is how we both see the night going…
She drives us through winding hills to a nearby quiet neighborhood with several small houses all close together. There’s plenty of kids’ toys scattered on driveways, and a stray cat climbs onto a nearby porch. Ellie parks on the street and leads me up to the single-story home, smiling to herself as she unlocks the door. The inside is dimly lit, and what it lacks in furniture, it makes up for in charm. Her friends are crowded together in the kitchen, making dinner. I can tell they’re intrigued by my presence.
“Hey, I’m Jackson,” I say, a little shy, not wanting to botch this introduction. “J-a-c-k-s-o-n,” I spell out in sign, slowly to not mess it up, grateful that my hand is cooperating with me.
Shay signs something that Ellie voices. “She says she remembers you.”
