Page 6 of On the Bright Side
Couldn’t Madison have at least given me some guidance about Amber High? The only time I’ve ever been inside was for her graduation. That day, my sister strutted through the halls, and I should’ve paid closer attention to my surroundings. I was still in denial back then. Amber was always supposed to be her school, never mine.
I spend the weekend curled up on the couch with Cheese, watching movies at full blast. The first thing my mom does when she and Dad get back Sunday afternoon is lower the TV volume. “You’ve already got the captions on; surely you don’t need it this loud.”
It’s clear my parents aren’t sure how to operate when it’s just the three of us. After a mostly silent dinner, my dad pulls out a board game, but I extract myself after a half hour of confusing rules that I couldn’t hear the specifics of.
I retreat to my room and climb into bed, grateful to no longer be relegated to the folding mattress. I’m scrolling through my phone when it vibrates. It’s Cody, video calling.Finally.
We’ve kept missing each other these past few days. He had his big family reunion this weekend, which I usually join him for, but sinceI start school tomorrow, the logistics just didn’t work out. He must know I’m nervous. He always gives the best encouragement right when I need it.
Quickly opening my laptop, I accept the call from there, blinking rapidly in the bright light. “Hey!” I sign enthusiastically.
Cody nods, his expression plain. He signs with one hand, holding his phone out in front of his face with the other. But he’s a blur, and the connection glitches.
“Again?” I ask him to repeat.
He’s being shifty, his eyes darting off to the side to avoid the camera. A knot forms in my stomach, twisting harder the longer I wait for him to get out what he wants to convey. After all these years, I can read Cody easily. It’s clear that something’s wrong.
Lowering my eyes, I ask, “What are you signing?”
“We’re just…” He takes a deep breath. “Really far away, you know?”
“Yeah, I wish I could have been there this—”
Cody slaps his hand toward the camera, cutting me off. “Things are different now.”
I’m immediately defensive, fighting the creeping suspicion that the worst is about to drop. “It’s one year. That’s nothing.”
But it’s not. We’ve been more than distant lately. It’s been four weeks since I last visited him, which was my third drive north this summer. Meanwhile, he hasn’t been down here at all because he hadn’t been able to borrow the family car. Everything’s a hassle. That’s how it’s always been during breaks, but we’d come together no problem when school started up again. He’s still on summer vacation for another week and supposed to be driving down to see me in a few days. We’ll be able to smooth things out then.
Cody bites his lip. “You know…” He takes an incredibly long pause. My chest tightens in anticipation. “I don’t think I want to go back to the Brandview area.”
We can work with this. We can adjust our plan. “I can move to you. Or we can pick some other city. We can start to figure it out when you come later this week.”
He looks off to the side as he signs, “I don’t think that will work, either.”
“Why?” I sign, almost as an afterthought, but my lowered eyebrows clearly convey the question.
Cody stares at me blankly. I don’t recognize where he’s at, but someone walks by, knocking into him, and he turns to reveal a party in some basement. Cody’s having no trouble adjusting to being back home. Why is he not sharing things with me? We never met up with people or went to any events whenever I visited him. He just kept me to himself. Does he not want me to know his other friends?
Suddenly, I don’t know the person before me. I feel like a switch has flipped. And the world is upside down. The Cody I knew at Brandview would never do something like this—would he?He doesn’t feel like the same person anymore. Somehow the person I thought I’d be with for my entire life is now a total stranger.
Because I realize exactly what he is trying to tell me.
“Seriously?” I raise my eyebrows and give him a pointed look. “Are you for real doing this? Right now?”
“It’s not what I want anymore,” he signs somewhat apologetically.
His brow crinkles in a way I used to find endearing. Now I see it for what it really is. Condescending.
“And you don’t want me.” My teeth clench as I shake my head. “Anymore.”
He sighs, giving a small nod. “I think that—”
I smash my laptop shut.
I jump up and pace the room, replaying the conversation in my head and trying to piece together where it all went wrong. Part of me wants to call him back, just to have the argument.
Yet there’s no way I’m subjecting myself to any of his excuses. Five years of my life, and that jerk doesn’t even have the decency to drive out here and do that shit in person. Or at the very least in private. He’s at aparty. Probably dumping me so he can hook up with someone else.If he hasn’t already…
