Page 57 of Shapes of Love
“I have, except all the traffic.” I walk the length of my hallway. In the living room, Kai is putting together one of Sonia’s Lego sets while she and Asher glide across the kitchen, the smell of gingerbread cookies wafting through the air.
I was a little nervous to introduce my sister to Asher. She can sniff people’s bullshit from a mile away, and Asher is, well, Asher. I already knew he’s good with kids, but his default charm didn’t work on Sonia, so he’s trying to earn her respect with baked goods.
“I heard everyone on set loved you,” Marissa says. “The producers are already talking about having you back for another cameo. Great job.”
“Thanks, I—”
“I’ve sent you a present. It should arrive sometime today.”
“Girl, let me finish a sentence,” I huff.
“Thought you were on vocal rest.”
“I’m feeling fine now.” My soul is still exhausted, but it gets better when I’m home. Everything’s familiar, from the way my pillow feels under my head to the amount of light I let into my room or the way my plushies are lined up along my window. My moms cook amazing food without me having to figure out when or what I’m hungry for, and I can revert back to a routine where life feels simpler.
My eyes flick toward the living room, soaking in the scene. Kai’s concentration face, surrounded by Legos. My sister yelling at Asher, throwing flour everywhere. It’s chaos, but it feels peaceful.
“So, any holiday plans?” Marissa asks.
“Asher, Kai, and I are going to decorate a tree with my sister.”
“Oh, cool.” I can hear her irritation through the phone. She doesn’t like how the press has been focusing on the friendship between Kai, Asher, and me rather than my relationship. “Okay, but remember—”
“To post more pictures with Kai,” I cut in. “Just the two of us. Looking in love. Blah blah blah.” A hint of annoyance prickles my voice. Every time I read an article about how in love Kai and I are, I want to throw up. There was a video someone posted recently, including some footage of me and Kai in London, about how relaxed I look because Kai protects me and allows me to be in my feminine energy. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, or why straightrelationships are so reliant on gender roles. That version of me doesn’t exist, and I hate it. I’m not some lovesick puppy.
“What an outrageous accusation!” Asher gasps from the kitchen. “British food isn’t plain.”
“It sure is,” Sonia says. She slams her hand on the counter, sending a puff of flour flying around.
“I gotta go,” I tell Marissa before she launches into a PR sermon.
The kitchen looks like a bag of flour just exploded all over the counter and Asher’s face, but he looks undeterred, stamping out gingerbread men shapes while Sonia pets Muse.
Sonia sighs. “Have you ever heard of this thing calledflavor?”
Muse leaps from her lap and darts into the living room.
“See? Even Muse is offended,” Asher says with a pout. “You know what? I’m going to give all your gingerbread cookies sad faces.”
He squeezes the piping bag, filled with sugar cookie icing, and sculpts an angry expression on one of the gingerbread people instead of the usual smile.
“Good. Why would he smile anyway?” Sonia props her chin on her hands. “He’s about to be cooked. Like humans are cooked by late-stage capitalism.”
In the living room, Kai snickers under his breath. I navigate the Lego minefield and plop down on the rug next to him. “Your sister scares me,” he says. “I’m so proud of her.”
I catch a glimpse of his phone. It’s open on an apartment-listing page. “Are you looking at places?”
“Kind of? I lived on campus last year before moving backin with my grandpa. I’m trying to look for a place that’s not too far from campus or him.”
“I get it,” I say. “Marissa says I should move to a bigger place, but I want to stay close to home, too. I haven’t looked at anything yet. I just hope I can stay close.”
We snap Lego pieces into place, satisfying clicks filling the room as Muse naps on the rug, undisturbed by the bickering between Sonia and Asher.
“Maybe we should look for a place together,” Kai says absentmindedly.
“Maybe.” My stomach flips. I don’t know if he’s being serious, or if I’m being serious. The truth is I wouldn’t mind living with him.
Platonic partners.His words from the other night float through my mind.
