Page 44 of Shapes of Love
I step away from the dance floor to check my phone. Mia’s sent a picture of her and her roommates. They’re having pizza on their study break, playing trivia in Mia’s living room.
MIA
How’s your night? I wanna see your dress.
My stomach sinks a little. What am I supposed to say? I got harassed and might have spent fifty thousand pounds on a plushie? It feels like we’re living in separate worlds.
I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if I’d never become famous. Would I be in the picture she just sent me? Would we still drift apart anyway?
But then I wouldn’t have this. My fans, my career, the freedom to do what I love most. I wouldn’t trade it, but it makes me feel guilty. To want things I can’t have anymore.
I miss being part of a friend group. It’s just… an unspoken rule of growing up, I guess. I have friends, but not a friend group anymore. Everyone’s busy doing their own thing.
“No Kai tonight?” Asher appears behind me. His voice carries over the soft strains of the orchestra.
“Just me, I’m afraid. Sorry to disappoint.”
“You never do. Just you is enough.” The way he smiles catches me off guard. “I was curious to see Kai in a tux, though. You know, with all those ear piercings and the perfect hair, I bet he would’ve looked…” He clears his throat, and I search his face. Is he drunk? Asher’s brow furrows slightly. “Is he okay? I can ask my doctor to check in on him again—”
A couple of girls walk by and wave at him. His expression morphs quickly, the worry in his eyes replaced by an empty grin as he waves back, promising to catch up with them later. It feels so effortless, the way he switches between personalities. His accent does, too, a mix between British and American English.
“Are you having fun?” he asks when he catches me staring.
“No.” I shrug.
He extends a gloved hand toward me with a slight smirk. “Well, then, care for a dance?”
“Sure, but I’ll lead.” I take his hand, the warmth of his skin seeping into mine despite his gloves as we make our way onto the dance floor.
He’s taller than me, but I’m wearing heels, so our height evens out, and my hand settles comfortably on the small of his back. He chuckles, holding my gaze as he rests a hand on my shoulder, the other one folding around my fingers and raising my arm into the air.
“Didn’t think convincing you would be that easy.”
“I was actually looking for you,” I say, my voice barely audible over the music as we turn in sync. He’s a good dancer.
“You were?” Amusement dances in his eyes. With a flick of his wrist, he spins me around his arm and flips our positions. His hand slides from my shoulder to my waist, and I can feel his muscles shift beneath his clothes as he flattens his fingers around my lower back.
“I saw what you auctioned,” I say, stepping closer to him, my hand finding its new place on his shoulder as we move.
“Oh, the stuffed animal? And?” His eyes hold mine, curious but guarded.
“What do you mean,and?” I press gently, my fingers lightly tapping the fabric of his suit jacket.
“Did you shed some tears over an inanimate object? And here I thought you were a cynic.”
“I—” Before I can order my thoughts, the music from the live orchestra fades. A host makes their way to a podium and announces that the auction has closed and dinner will be served soon. Asher lets go of me, joining a round of applause that sweeps over the room.
I’m assigned a seat at a round table next to Asher and Rosa, probably because we work for the same show. Glistening crystal and expensive silver cutlery sparkle under the warm glow of a chandelier hanging above a centerpiece of fresh flowers. I steal a fork and send a picture to Mia. The food is good, albeit microscopic, and my stomach growls even after I eat dessert. It makes me think of the pizza in Mia’s picture. I bet the cheese would melt in my mouth, and the crust would be crunchy, and the pineapple would add a sweetness to the barbecue sauce.
I sigh. Maybe I can ask Kai to get pizza with me later.
“Did you find anything you liked in the auction?” Rosa asks me.
“I bid on some great acting lessons I clearly need.” I smile. After that creepy motherfucker left, I made sure to bid on Rosa’s auction item so that he wouldn’t be the highest bid. He never returned to the tablet to make another, so I think she should be okay.
The items are brought over to the center of the stage while the winners are announced. I do end up winning the acting lessons, but a pang goes through my heart when I get outbid for Asher’s teddy bear, who goes to a middle-aged woman and her teenage daughter instead. I whip around to glance at him, but he seems relieved. His shoulders drop, and a faint smile touches his lips when he hears the amount it sold for: one hundred thousand pounds.
“You won’t miss Cuddles?” I whisper.
